Articles, Podcasts & Books | Moms Hierarchy Of Needs

Category: Articles, Podcasts & Books

Free Yourself from the Soul Crushing Disputes About Who does What

Free Yourself from Soul Crushing Disputes about who does what. Image of Fair Play by Eve Rodsky book cover

How Gamification Can Save Your Marriage…And Your Sanity

“I love you and I don’t want to break up our life. I really want to stay married. But you have to start looking at my time as valuable,” said Eve Rodsky, Entrepreneur & New York Times Best Selling-Author, to her husband. That conversation changed her life. Eve, like many Moms, was overwhelmed managing a schedule with no room for error or downtime. She said, “It was the unfairness of watching him every night be able to just get into the bed and watch a documentary, finish a PowerPoint deck and workout, while I worked in service to our household until midnight.”

In the US, Moms partnered with Dads still choreograph and do most of the housework and childcare. In our pandemic study, although men are stepping up, only 30% of respondents cite their partners are helping out more. So, conflict between couples continues to rise. Without onsite school or childcare and the bulk of housework falling onto Moms, like caged tigers, we’re eviscerating anything that limits our sleep, sanity or solvency. But there aren’t many options. Adjusting expectations at work is difficult for most. So, sharing the household and childcare if partnered, is the most promising, albeit Continue reading “Free Yourself from the Soul Crushing Disputes About Who does What” →

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The States with the Most Childcare Sanity Will Surprise You

Book cover for Motherlands How States Push Mothers Out of Employment. With an image of the US on the cover. For the article, The States with the Most Childcare Sanity Will Surprise You

A book review and conversation with Motherland’s Author Leah Ruppanner

Covid has forced Mothers everywhere to reevaluate work/life tradeoffs. And without access to childcare or school, millions have left their jobs, despite the global recession. Because trying to work and care for kids full-time does not set anyone up to thrive. And like all living things, we need the right conditions to flourish. Leah Ruppanner, Author and Co-Director of the Policy Lab at the University of Melbourne, went in search of the ‘Motherlands’ for her new book. Those idyllic places with childcare sanity where Motherhood and work can coexist. What she found was surprising.

Mothers Are Opting Out in Record Numbers

Pre-Covid, life fit around the work calendar. And caregiving often fell into the hours before and after. Kind of. Work hours in most careers have increased in the past decade. Which makes finding space to care for our kids, parents or selves, a constant source of conflict.

Leah explained, “People believe, ‘I personally failed because I couldn’t make work and family work. And everyone else seems to be doing this great job’ but the truth of the matter is, that it’s a structural issue. If a woman working in Massachusetts or California, where childcare is $4,000 a month, was told Continue reading “The States with the Most Childcare Sanity Will Surprise You” →

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The Details of How to Make Personal Change Stick

Image of the Book Cover for Pathways to Possibility by Rosamund Zander. Next to the title The Details of How to Make Personal Change Stick

A Book Review For Pathways to Possibility by Rosamund Stone Zander

I read and listen to books about everything from bravery and acceptance to productivity and leadership. I’ve been in the slow but intentional process of self-renewal for years. Recently, I discovered Pathways to Possibility by Rosamund Stone Zander. It’s the companion to one of my favorite books, The Art of Possibility that she co-authored with her husband, Benjamin Zander.

The best of cognitive science teaches that our thoughts affect our feelings. And ultimately, our happiness. Self-help can be heavy on the ‘why’ but light on the ‘how.’ It’s rare to find details about internalizing big ideas. Adopting new routines is not the same as resetting one’s internal Continue reading “The Details of How to Make Personal Change Stick” →

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It’s All in the Ask. How to Get the Professional Support You Need Right Now

Image of the First Pitch Winning Money, Mentors & More for your Start up Book Cover. Next to the article title, It's All in the Ask. How to Get the Professional Support You Need Right Now

“The truth is, if you can’t pitch, you will not get the support you need,” said Debi Kleiman, seasoned marketer, educator and entrepreneur, who now leads the Blank Center for Entrepreneurship at Babson College. Most people don’t know how to ask for what they want. Yet, connection to that job, mentor, advisor or investor, comes down to how you ask. And many of us hate asking for support! Even when there’s a mutual value exchange.

As millions reinvent in this pandemic, support for your work or business, will mean building relationships in new ways. Debi, my former colleague and friend, distills the fine art of professional persuasion in her new book, First Pitch! Winning Money, Mentors and More for your Start-Up. When she began teaching, she couldn’t find resources on this topic for her students. She said, “It made me sad that to think there were people who were not being heard in the world because Continue reading “It’s All in the Ask. How to Get the Professional Support You Need Right Now” →

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Is It Time to Become More You?

Cover image of the book by Brene Brown's Braving the Wilderness with trees against a blue sky background

A Book Review for Brené Brown’s Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone

How much time do you spend trying to fit in? Have you become a little less ‘you’ as a result?

If you were in the midst of reinvention before the pandemic or have been forced to recalibrate, you may feel particularly vulnerable. Exposed. Dr. Brené Brown, the renowned vulnerability researcher, writes beautifully in Braving the Wilderness about how to evolve past this distress.

I saw Brené Brown speak at the Massachusetts Conference for Women opening night and during her talk she said, “I’m still in my worth and my values if my goal is to be myself, not to fit in.” This resonated for me and after reading Dare to Lead I decided to reread my copy of Braving the Wilderness for added inspiration.

Please enjoy 3 quick takeaways from the book:

“True belonging is the spiritual practice of believing in and belonging to yourself so deeply that you can share your most authentic self with the world and find sacredness in both being a part of something and standing alone in the wilderness. True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are.”

Continue reading “Is It Time to Become More You?” →

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How To Find Bravery in a Culture of Perfectionism

Image of book cover for Brave Not Perfect by Reshma Saujani

A book review for Reshma Saujani’s Brave Not Perfect

What have you perfected? Whether it’s cartwheels, your backhand or public speaking, there’s a good chance you put in serious time to get great. Pre-kids, decent sleep, plus will and attention, can lead to mastery. But after kids, when our rest and thoughts are constantly interrupted, new pursuits can feel impossible. We’re not alone in feeling this way. Perfectionism is a slippery, unattainable bar, we’re taught to seek. Motherhood puts more at risk and we loose that desire to stumble. Possibly even fail. We double-down on trying to get everything ‘right’ at home and work.

Reshma Saujani, Author and CEO of Girls Who Code, gave an amazing talk at the Massachusetts Women’s Conference which lead me to devour her book, Brave Not Perfect. She eloquently states the problem, “We go from trying to be perfect students and daughters, to perfect professionals, perfect girlfriends, perfect wives and perfect mommies. …Hitting all the marks we’re supposed to and Continue reading “How To Find Bravery in a Culture of Perfectionism” →

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Is There A Better Way to Fight the Mental Load and Get Things Done?

Cover art for David Allen's Book Getting Things Done the Art of Stress Free Productivity

A Book Review for David Allen’s Productivity Bible, ‘Getting Things Done’

We were 40 minutes into leaving the house, still a choreography of chaos, when my son said, “Mommy, they’re too tight.” I vaguely remembered a we-need-new-boots-discussion with both kids. That was 3 weeks ago. My tired brain, trying to lighten the load, threw that thought overboard.

The mental load is my constant companion. So, tasks spill onto the floor in unfortunate ways at inopportune times. Like when trying to get two kids in 6 layers of clothes out to sled before dark. Even before the boot incident, I knew I needed a systems upgrade. My new job, holiday madness and scheduling weeks of ceiling leak repairs, pushed things to a new low. I decided to consult David Allen’s tomb, Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity.

In Most Families Mom Carries the ‘Mental Load’

We’re stressed from the invisible-never-ending planning for our families. However, before you get too excited about this book review, let me be clear, there’s no simple Continue reading “Is There A Better Way to Fight the Mental Load and Get Things Done?” →

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How To Create Healthy Relationships in a Culture of Toxicity

How To Create Healthy Relationships in a Culture of Toxicity article. Image of a group of women friends hugging.

What makes a relationship toxic? “They lack the following: empathy, compassion, respect, mutuality and reciprocity. And they may also include the following, invalidation, disrespect, gaslighting or insulting. It’s both what’s missing and what’s present,” said Dr. Ramani Durvasula, Author, Clinical Psychologist, Professor and Relationship Expert.

Our lives open to new levels of fulfillment with the relationships we have. And we all want satisfying careers, romantic partnerships and friendships, but it requires careful navigation. Maintaining self-love, confidence and respect, while balancing the needs of others gets tricky. How do we hold firmly onto our values, yet stay vulnerable enough to grow?

We discussed all of this and her newest book, “Don’t You Know Who I Am?”: How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility. Ramani, an expert on narcissistic abuse and champion for positive relationships, shares wisdom about how to protect our Continue reading “How To Create Healthy Relationships in a Culture of Toxicity” →

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Care for Yourself Like Your Survival Depends on It

Image of woman silhouette sitting below title of Self-Caring for Your Survival

How to put yourself back together after life-altering setbacks

“When I was 31 my husband passed away very suddenly from a very rare disease most doctors have never seen in their lifetime. This was 8 weeks after I had given birth to my second child. I had a 3-year old and an 8-week old baby when he died. It really shook my world,” said Keisha Blair, Author of Holistic Wealth, Economist and Supermom.

After facing the unimaginable, she took a year off from work to heal and ultimately, reinvent herself. She started by writing the pain and insights she glimpsed from grief. Keisha’s formula for radical recovery, distilled in her new book Holistic Wealth: 32 Life Lessons to Help You Find Purpose, Prosperity and Happiness, incorporates emotional, physical and financial self-care to live Continue reading “Care for Yourself Like Your Survival Depends on It” →

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Do You Need to Restore Your Relationship With Creativity?

Image of Big Magic book cover by Elizabeth Gilbert. Do You Need to Restore Your Relationship to Creativity?

3 Quick Takeaways from Reading Elizabeth Gilbert’s book, Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear

“Creative entitlement simply means believing that you are allowed to be here, and that—merely by being here—you are allowed to have a voice and a vision of your own.” 

Elizabeth Gilbert, from
Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear

Does self-doubt sabotage your creative projects? Would a mindset shift, from lamenting slow progress to celebrating all progress, boost your mood? Yes, you can restore your relationship with creativity. I view all of the advice I read about productivity and creativity through the “Mom-lens.” Whether you’re starting a business, changing careers or changing the world, creativity is an essential ingredient. If you worry that between drop-offs, pick-ups and carrying the mental load, creativity ‘just isn’t for you’ this book will help! Coincidentally, shortly after reading Big Magic, I saw Elizabeth Gilbert give an amazing keynote at the Massachusetts Women’s Conference. 

In the book she blends provocative thinking about the origins of creativity, and how to Continue reading “Do You Need to Restore Your Relationship With Creativity?” →

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