How You Can Accomplish Remarkable Dreams While Parenting

“We were reading a lot of children’s books with our daughter and there was always a traditional family structure. She wasn’t being exposed to diversity in her books or seeing her own family structure.” When my former colleagues, Kendra and Claire-Voe Ocampo, Marketing professionals turned Authors, realized how little representation there was for same-gender couples in books for kids, they decided to do something about it.

We live and breathe busy. Our calendars are so full that we prioritize what’s pressing. And relegate our brilliant ideas to ‘someday.’ But the journey is more joyful when we honor our creativity. Yes, even while parenting little ones. Learn how one couple with two kids under the age of three and a third on the way, worked as a team to launch a passion project in Continue reading “How You Can Accomplish Remarkable Dreams While Parenting”

How to Manage the Increased Mental Load Under Quarantine

I gave my son the same math homework twice, started my daughter’s Zoom call late and forgot to pull chicken from the freezer. That was yesterday. Because it hasn’t felt holiday-like, I forgot to buy jelly beans. Between debates about ‘carrying the one’ with my oldest and playing musical-rooms for video calls, I’ve been working at half-speed. When I spoke with my attorney, a mother of 3, to apologize for ignoring her emails, I admitted to fighting mental fog. She agreed and said, “I feel like I did when my kids were babies!” Exactly.

The mental load for Moms, from the to-do list in our heads, isn’t new. It starts when our kids are in diapers but it’s increased with COVID19. Big time. We’re relearning how to work, live and parent all at once, which strains our cognitive capacity. When the routines dissolve, school’s at home and housework multiplies, what are our options? Although we have to approach it differently, we can lighten the mental load during this surreal time.

Why we Can’t Concentrate

In most families, Moms remember the haircuts, permission slips and camp deadlines. This invisible choreography is at the heart of overdo and never-done. We tend to forget our brains have limits and it helps to understand what they are. I spoke with Dr. April Seifert, Psychologist and Co-founder of Peak Mind and she explained, “Any time we’ve got way too much on our mind that we’re trying Continue reading “How to Manage the Increased Mental Load Under Quarantine”

How to Create Room for Yourself and Entrepreneurship When You Work Full Time

“Is this thing legit or is it a scam? I was thinking about it up to the minute they called and said I won! I didn’t want to be made a fool. But it was real,” said Dr. Charmain Jackman, Psychotherapist and Entrepreneur. The new business competition, she didn’t expect to win, moved her idea from concept to working website. She added, “…It was almost like an answer to a prayer. The application was only 150 words, but somehow I conveyed that this was important.” Amen! When the universe delivers opportunity, how do you make space for it?

Invest in Support & Self-Care

Women leaders are still underrepresented in our most powerful institutions: government, business and even higher ed. Unreasonable circumstances call for innovation and more women, intent on flexibility and growth, start Continue reading “How to Create Room for Yourself and Entrepreneurship When You Work Full Time”

Is There A Better Way to Fight the Mental Load and Get Things Done?

A Book Review for David Allen’s Productivity Bible, ‘Getting Things Done’

We were 40 minutes into leaving the house, still a choreography of chaos, when my son said, “Mommy, they’re too tight.” I vaguely remembered a we-need-new-boots-discussion with both kids. That was 3 weeks ago. My tired brain, trying to lighten the load, threw that thought overboard.

The mental load is my constant companion. So, tasks spill onto the floor in unfortunate ways at inopportune times. Like when trying to get two kids in 6 layers of clothes out to sled before dark. Even before the boot incident, I knew I needed a systems upgrade. My new job, holiday madness and scheduling weeks of ceiling leak repairs, pushed things to a new low. I decided to consult David Allen’s tomb, Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity.

In Most Families Mom Carries the ‘Mental Load’

We’re stressed from the invisible-never-ending planning for our families. However, before you get too excited about this book review, let me be clear, there’s no simple Continue reading “Is There A Better Way to Fight the Mental Load and Get Things Done?”

Do You Know How Motherhood Helps Your Career?

That’s Right. There’s Upside to the Work/Life Juggle!

“I didn’t realize it would be psychologically painful. It surprised me, how it would all feel, going back to work when my child was 2 months old,” Said Dr. Yael Schonbrun, Clinical Psychologist, Author and Co-host of the Psychologists Off the Clock podcast. 

The hard parts of working Motherhood are felt immediately. Within hours of returning to work, we fight to compartmentalize. We think about what our kids and our jobs need. All. Day. Long. Even if it were possible, just trying to quiet that inner dialogue, feels disloyal. As if we’re trying to make Motherhood’s messy emotions smaller. Less demanding. Work, once a refuge, begins to fragment us.

What about the sunny side? We rarely think about the Continue reading “Do You Know How Motherhood Helps Your Career?”

Wondering How to Honor Your Values With Better Boundaries?

Use Design Thinking as a Tool to Prioritize Your Values

Pre-kids, self-care and personal growth fit into our ‘spare time.’ That extra space between activities. Perhaps after work and life’s other obligations. Post-kids, there is no extra space anymore, we have to make it. To make it, we must set boundaries.

Intellectually we understand this but working it into real life is different. After sharing results from the Personal Boundaries survey April Seifert, Entrepreneur, Psychologist and Supermom, took a group of us through a ‘Design Your Life For Values Based Boundaries’ webinar that blends the best of design thinking with psychology. Moms are hungry for more space. Why is making it so difficult? Just like assembling sippy cups, Pokémon® rules and the afterschool calendar, we must learn.

Does Your Calendar Reflect Your Values?

Moms generally power through the lists of ‘shoulds’ like machines. We ensure our families are well cared for and cut corners for ourselves. Relaxation is a foreign land we never visit. Protecting some time to take care of ourselves, when there isn’t any extra, means Continue reading “Wondering How to Honor Your Values With Better Boundaries?”

Start The Year With Life Lessons From Inspiring Women!

#MomsSelf-Care #MomsPersonalGrowth #MomsBeingBold

Wisdom on leadership, growth, resilience, fearlessness, productivity, motherhood and equality from motivational leaders who spoke at the Massachusetts Conference For Women

Embrace the start of 2018 for it’s possibility! Whether you intend subtle shifts or a complete reset, the knowledge to accelerate your effort is out there.

I’ve been tuning into all of the learning I can find! I attended the Massachusetts Conference for Women, an annual event, with an amazing group of Mom friends and it’s the first conference I’ve invested in purely for my development (versus attending for my employer).

The investment was worth it. I continue to reflect on the powerful stories, from Viola Davis’ stirring keynote, to watching legend Gloria Steinem Continue reading “Start The Year With Life Lessons From Inspiring Women!”

4 Things You Need For Work/Life Integration from Mom’s Who Hustle

Notes From Attending ‘Moms Who Hustle’ A Practical Work/Life Discussion hosted by General Assembly Boston May 19th.

After rushing in to grab a front row seat, I took a few deep breaths to center myself just as the moderator began introductions.   A surprisingly diverse group looked expectantly at the panelists.

I later learned the eclectic mix of Moms, Pre-moms, Grandmothers and Dads braved the rainy commute and early start, eager to discuss the Mom work-life juggle, for different reasons.

Women feel more empowered (and compelled) than ever to hustle and Moms are no exception.

The artful choreography, to reduce clashes between the work and life schedules, becomes its own demanding project.  Last month, on the sidelines of my son’s soccer match, I watched a Mom spend the better part of an hour crouched over her computer color coding and reconciling activities  Continue reading “4 Things You Need For Work/Life Integration from Mom’s Who Hustle”

Take Back Mornings! 5 Tips To Make Getting Your Kids & Yourself Out Of The House Easier

#MomsLifeHacks #MomsSavingTime #MomsWeekdayHacks #MakingMorningsLessPainful

I am not a fan of weekday mornings. The pressure of getting everyone fed, dressed, toileted, cleaned and dropped off to school (or work in my case) while creating some semblance of ‘easing into the day’ generally feels overwhelming.

I had a delightful interview with Jennifer P., a reader of MHN, yesterday. Jennifer is not only the mother of three children ages 8 and under, she works full-time and her husband travels Monday through Friday most weeks!

My burning question… how does she handle mornings? Although I’ve managed (some) competency in a few areas, like food and fitness, I’ve yet to come up with a reliable process to make mornings reasonable.

Inevitably, I start off the day with the grand intention of having a nice, drama-free morning where everyone faces the all-important start of the day on a positive and peaceful note. Yet, by mid-breakfast I begin to get stressed about being off schedule and start appealing to the (nonexistent) sense of efficiency in my kids. I then get frustrated and quickly devolve into Dragon Mommy by tooth-brushing time. But I digress…

Jennifer has mostly great mornings and was kind to share the brilliant short cuts that work for her family. Continue reading “Take Back Mornings! 5 Tips To Make Getting Your Kids & Yourself Out Of The House Easier”

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