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Fear, Masks & Alicia Keys. What Has 2020 Taught us?

A few weeks ago, awe-inspiring female leaders like Alicia Keys, Admiral Michelle Howard, Awkwafina and Doris Kearns Goodwin, took the virtual stage for the annual Massachusetts Women’s Conference. They’ve leapt past obstacles in a culture that often mutes our voices.

How? With self-care, self-love and self-confidence. Enjoy their wisdom on how to honor your needs in the days and months ahead. And enter this new chapter with restored faith in your gifts, community and power to change the systems we live, work and play in.

Pause and Reflect

Awkwafina, Award-winning Actress, Writer & Rapper, “Playing those little shows, were the best times of my life, because I was waiting for something to happen. But when things started to pick up, and it was objectively the best time of my life, I found myself losing my sense of identity. So, today, I want to be in a mental place where I can handle this career, in a healthy way, and I’m not worrying all the time.”

Mel Robbins, Best-selling Author & Entrepreneur, “If you’re not motivated in your life, you’re not playing a big enough game. Get very quiet and tune into what you long for.”

Iyanla Vanzant, Best-selling Author & Producer, “If you’re here, you’re alive. Our scars are being transformed into sacred knowledge.”

Mel Robbins, Best-selling Author & Entrepreneur, “…What have you learned in 2020? Everything that is happening in your life, is preparing you for what’s next.”

Take Back Your Routines

Mel Robbins, Best-selling Author & Entrepreneur, “When you wake up what’s the first thing that you see? It had Continue reading “Fear, Masks & Alicia Keys. What Has 2020 Taught us?”

What Happens When You Break All the Work Rules?

“I could see that work wasn’t working for people,” said Eva Dienel, Journalist and sustainable work expert. She added, “So, when I met (my husband) Adam, we started talking very early in our relationship about building work around our lives rather than letting work determine the lives that we were stuck with.”

Although burnout damages health and productivity, our culture rewards the behavior that drives it. And careers, woven with identity, become full of emotional landmines. It’s hard to untangle our real desires, from how we’re conditioned to think. And post-kids when we need reliable income, schedules and benefits, the work choices narrow.

Modern careers leave little space for caregiving or passion pursuits. And Eva knew she wanted meaningful work without the confines of corporate life. But leaving a traditional job is a counter culture move that’s often met with Continue reading “What Happens When You Break All the Work Rules?”

It’s Time to Leave the Productivity Prison

That’s right. Prison. I said it.

If you used to derive joy at the intersection of helpfulness and productivity, like I did, then anything else feels bad. And let’s face it, working at home with kids during a pandemic is the opposite of that.  So, unless we rethink productivity, we end up in a race against our pre-pandemic selves, we can’t win.

And It’s Uncomfortable

I prided myself on getting a LOT done each day pre-kids. And the thrill of moving through a mountain of to-dos sustained me. I used to believe that good days were productive days.

Organizations now hire me to help their employees, usually caregivers, cope through Covid. And during live sessions, the most frequent question parents ask, is how to reclaim productivity under Covid conditions.

We Need to Redefine What Productive Means

I relate, because I still struggle with this. No one wants to be ‘pandemic-productive.’ When the days feel edgeless and uncertain, they want something tangible from their time. They want to measure themselves against Continue reading “It’s Time to Leave the Productivity Prison”

This is Not the Time to Stop Investing In Your Career

Fast Track Job Security With a Professional Brand

“It’s hard to be the keynote speaker at breakfast if you’ve got to get somebody to school at 8:00 o’clock. Women are still more likely to be responsible for kids at home and that often stops them from speaking. They’re like, ‘I could go off and be a speaker at this event and seen as a visionary expert or I could be home for dinner.’ These are still some of the reasons that women turn down what are seen as extras.” Explained Bobbie Carlton, events pioneer and CEO of Innovation Women.

It’s a circular problem. Thought leadership hasn’t been diverse because leadership isn’t. And between intense schedules at work and home, adding anything, even career-boosting visibility may feel impossible.

But what if thought leadership is the rocket fuel your career needs for growth? A vehicle that creates more choice and gets you off of the hamster wheel? Having Continue reading “This is Not the Time to Stop Investing In Your Career”

Help Is Not On the Way (And It’s Not Going Well)

Can Psychological Safety Can Make Work More Sane Right Now?

This is part of an ongoing series, to share results from the pandemic research study. This update is from nearly 400 parents, primarily Moms (91%) who responded between March 30 – June 6th about how COVID-19 has affected work and life, including what has been the hardest.

“The instability of both my job and ability to secure safe childcare (many will call out with late notice after finding out I work in healthcare.)”

“… uncertainty about when life can safely return to normal and perhaps more importantly the anxiety that my partner is likely going to be asked to return to work before we feel doing so meets our own personal threshold of risk.”

“I was working remotely then requested to be furloughed as both my husband and I were working remote with our 10-month-old and it was too much without help.”

More Responsibilities at Home Have Come at the Expense of Work

Surveyed Moms and Dads have leaned into their family roles during this time of crisis. 68% felt that they were doing the same, a better job than usual, or really well as parents and, though by a smaller majority, as spouses/partners. However, most (58%) felt that they were doing terribly or not as well as usual in their performance as workers and most (60%) sacrificed self-care routines to make space for the added responsibilities.  There are, however, exceptions. One surveyed Mom shared, “My kids are 9 and 10. They do their schoolwork and play/watch TV on their own while I’m working. My partner is now working from home, too, so I feel like I have more help than usual. I’m more productive now than I was when I was going to my workplace.”

Help Is Not On the Way for Most

The work/life juggle after having kids tested even the most optimistic parents. But in this pandemic, childcare, a prerequisite for working parenthood was disrupted for the overwhelming majority (74%) of those surveyed. And people are breaking under the strain of trying to do the absurd – work, Continue reading “Help Is Not On the Way (And It’s Not Going Well)”

Is the Pandemic Your Portal Out of Corporate Life?

“Being a mother kind of makes you adept at juggling things. A lot of our clients are parents and are also in the situation where they’re juggling everything. So, it’s been, ‘oh you’re juggling? I’m juggling too. Alright, let’s juggle together,’” said Quiana Agbai former corporate marketer, turned Entrepreneur, Activist and Social Connector.

We had to fight to grow our careers long before the pandemic. Now, school, work and meals have tumbled into our homes without the supports that made it doable. Which makes the wealth and wage gaps that much harder to close. Professional flexibility, once a luxury, has become critical in quarantine. Millions have lost jobs and everything about how work gets done is shifting. But change, even when it’s crisis-driven, creates new opportunities. It may not follow the plan but it’s possible to Continue reading “Is the Pandemic Your Portal Out of Corporate Life?”

How to Build Your Tribe, Ask For Help & Pursue Your Big Idea!

“My Mother-In-Law said, ‘I got you something.’ I just remember going through it and getting nervous, it was a big bag of boy clothes, so much blue and navy! I told her, ‘Ma you can’t return any of these, I don’t know if it’s a boy or girl.’ My Mother-In-Law then informed me, ‘It’s a boy.’” Kim wasn’t convinced and asked, “‘Do you want to put money on it?’ Her Mother-In-Law replied, ‘…yeah, I’ll put money on it!’” The friendly wager led Kim Jolasun towards a big idea. To modernize how we announce, celebrate and support new babies.

Nurture Your Idea

With kids, entrepreneurial pursuits can be scary. The time and income are usually unpredictable. And little humans are expensive! But Kim, while pregnant with her first, chose entrepreneurism in a new industry and city. How? She negotiated a reduced work schedule then invested in professional development and self-care by asking for help. Ambition feels inconsistent with hands-on Motherhood in most fields. So more women, seeking growth and flexibility, Continue reading “How to Build Your Tribe, Ask For Help & Pursue Your Big Idea!”

How to Build & Grow a Business! Expert Advice from Women Leaders

It’s a visceral experience to see a room full of women at a professional conference. The BlogHer Creator’s Summit where about 1,000 female founders gather to soak up inspiration, sharpen their vision and learn how to grow, was no exception.

Many have lost patience with the limitations of traditional work. Women increasingly opt to leap over, or tunnel under, the stubborn leadership gap by starting businesses.

Creators of all stripes, from celebrities like Sarah Jessica Parker and Diane Guerrero, to Entrepreneurs like Hannah Bronfman, CeCe Olisa and Gail Becker, spoke openly about everything they’ve Continue reading “How to Build & Grow a Business! Expert Advice from Women Leaders”

Wondering How to Honor Your Values With Better Boundaries?

Use Design Thinking as a Tool to Prioritize Your Values

Pre-kids, self-care and personal growth fit into our ‘spare time.’ That extra space between activities. Perhaps after work and life’s other obligations. Post-kids, there is no extra space anymore, we have to make it. To make it, we must set boundaries.

Intellectually we understand this but working it into real life is different. After sharing results from the Personal Boundaries survey April Seifert, Entrepreneur, Psychologist and Supermom, took a group of us through a ‘Design Your Life For Values Based Boundaries’ webinar that blends the best of design thinking with psychology. Moms are hungry for more space. Why is making it so difficult? Just like assembling sippy cups, Pokémon® rules and the afterschool calendar, we must learn.

Does Your Calendar Reflect Your Values?

Moms generally power through the lists of ‘shoulds’ like machines. We ensure our families are well cared for and cut corners for ourselves. Relaxation is a foreign land we never visit. Protecting some time to take care of ourselves, when there isn’t any extra, means Continue reading “Wondering How to Honor Your Values With Better Boundaries?”

Have You Taken Time Out of The Workforce?

The surprising little statistic about working motherhood

“No one in my local community had kids yet. My Mom, and Mother-in-Law, were Stay-At-Home-Moms. I worked for an investment bank. The childcare options in my area would have added an hour to my commute and taken a huge percentage of my take home pay. We weren’t necessarily in the financial position to do it, but I said (to my husband,) I can’t leave this baby,” explained Claudia Reuter, my former colleague and Founder of The 43% Podcast. “I stepped out,” she said. Claudia didn’t return to work until nearly 3 years later. Did you know, nearly half of Mothers make this decision?

Build Your Own Flexibility

Claudia said, “After my second child, 23 months later, I realized Continue reading “Have You Taken Time Out of The Workforce?”

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