Rewrite The Rules! Lighten Your Mental Load, Drop Mom Guilt & Live Your Values

#MomsSelf-Care #MomsLivingWithIntention #ResistMentalLoad

A Conversation With Tiffany Dufu, Author of Drop The Ball

“I am in tears and I am overwhelmed. I need help to get out of this place.”

Most moms experience despair at some point on the journey, however, few discuss it. It’s part of the unspoken pact we have with society. There’s so much to celebrate, that most conversation centers on the joy. We don’t talk about feeling fractured or how a lack of self-care leaves us eerily distanced from our identities.

When Tiffany Dufu realized the burden to control all things household was unsustainable without living with a heavy dose of resentment, she knew for the sake of her family and her marriage something needed to change. In her book, Drop the Ball, she artfully tells the story of moving from overwhelm to a more focused, fulfilled life by doing two major things. Continue reading “Rewrite The Rules! Lighten Your Mental Load, Drop Mom Guilt & Live Your Values”

Start The Year With Life Lessons From Inspiring Women!

#MomsSelf-Care #MomsPersonalGrowth #MomsBeingBold

Wisdom on leadership, growth, resilience, fearlessness, productivity, motherhood and equality from motivational leaders who spoke at the Massachusetts Conference For Women

Embrace the start of 2018 for it’s possibility! Whether you intend subtle shifts or a complete reset, the knowledge to accelerate your effort is out there.

I’ve been tuning into all of the learning I can find! I attended the Massachusetts Conference for Women, an annual event, with an amazing group of Mom friends and it’s the first conference I’ve invested in purely for my development (versus attending for my employer).

The investment was worth it. I continue to reflect on the powerful stories, from Viola Davis’ stirring keynote, to watching legend Gloria Steinem Continue reading “Start The Year With Life Lessons From Inspiring Women!”

Why The Mental Load Matters To Your Career!

#MomsSelf-Care #MentalLoadStress #MomsGrowth #MomsDevelopment

“Instead of arriving to work fresh I’ve been up for 4 hours, changed 2 poop diapers, brought one kid to camp, the other to daycare and feel successful if I managed not to leave my gym bag with one of the kids and have taken the baby’s bottle bag with me to work. I arrive to court at 9:00 am and I feel as though I’ve already slayed a dozen dragons! With any luck, there isn’t unidentified goop on my suit.”

The mental load is damaging the relationship to career for 62% of over 200 surveyed Moms*.   Many feel distracted, disengaged and hollowed out juggling work demands and everything-household.  After fighting for years to establish our professional selves, the double-bind of it all crushes the spirit and pulls the same precious energy needed to problem solve and innovate.  Essential skills to thrive in most careers.

There are limits to human attention and working memory.   If you’re paid for strategic solutions or deliver creative output, the mental load’s insistent tug competes for that cognitive space and presence.

“I could have lost my job about 2 years ago.  The stress was so bad from taking care of home and work…I was paralyzed with fear of doing it wrong.  I was diagnosed with ADHD (got meds for that) increased (my) anxiety and depression meds and started seeing a counselor.  That helped, but shortly after that I got pregnant with my second set of twins.” Continue reading “Why The Mental Load Matters To Your Career!”

Don’t Hide In the Bathroom! How To Build Your Network & Control Your Destiny

“…At first I thought I was in the wrong job, it was very stressful and male dominated. Then, after changing jobs, I thought…well it must be (that I’m in) the wrong country and I moved to Europe!  Then, I considered perhaps I was in the wrong line of work.  It turns out, I love my line of work,” said Morra Aarons-Mele, Author, Podcast Host and Entrepreneur. I nodded, smiling as I listened to the self-described ‘work/life rebel’ explain why she started her own business. She added, “It took an ‘a-ha’ moment to realize the panic attacks and unhappiness that prompted me to keep quitting jobs was about how I was doing the work. I didn’t want office politics or the BS. The environment over stimulated me. I wanted to work from home.”
After a mutual friend told me about her new book, on networking for introverts and I learned she’s local, I had to meet her!
 
“My book is about networking for hermits.”  I laughed because after speaking with her for a few minutes, she came across as anything but a hermit!  Morra is sharp, funny and was completely at ease sharing the painful struggle with anxiety and depression that sucked joy from her early career. Brave and definitely not hermit-like!  She admits, “You probably wouldn’t guess I’m an introvert and I never realized it until much later!”

Continue reading “Don’t Hide In the Bathroom! How To Build Your Network & Control Your Destiny”

Attention Working Moms, Live Happier & Healthier! Book Review for ‘Drop the Ball’ by Tiffany Dufu

 

#MomsSelf-Care #FixWorkingMomStress #MomsCareerHacks #MomsGrowthHacks

There’s a common refrain among the Moms I meet, the juggle of work and life is straining the fragile infrastructure we’ve cobbled together. After an extended time managing way-too-much, it’s clear the solution goes beyond clever prioritization. If you’ve felt pressure from wanting to pour all of your presence into those beautiful little people you’re raising while also managing a household and nurturing the career you’ve primed with years of effort, this book is for you. Continue reading “Attention Working Moms, Live Happier & Healthier! Book Review for ‘Drop the Ball’ by Tiffany Dufu”

Stop Stopping! Skill Up & Live Your Vision.

#MomsGrowthHacks #MomsLearnNewSkills #MomsReinvention #MomsCareerGrowth

“Come on in…” I walked tentatively into the doorway, past the tarp and froze as I watched the half-dozen contractors, busily hammering and moving large pieces of equipment across the floor. I was motioned inside by a man wearing a toolbelt, “It’s okay, Jenn’s downstairs…just be very careful.” He smiled. Noted. As I made my way down the narrow staircase, I had a chance to (finally) meet Jenn Mason, Entrepreneur, cheese expert, supermom and today, hands-on construction project manager. Continue reading “Stop Stopping! Skill Up & Live Your Vision.”

Quiet That Inner Voice & Make Time To Follow Your Passions!

#MomsGrowthHacks #MomsSelf-Care #MomsGettingImportantStuffDone

“Live as though your life depends on it. Today is critically important. After all, life is just a series of todays.” She looked at me unflinchingly as she said it. I paused… then nodded as I thought about the weight and beauty of her perspective.

Rethinking how to navigate your todays, based on life’s fragility, needn’t feel gloomy. Discussing April’s outlook and zeal for designing a life of intention radiates optimism.

A trained psychologist and healthcare researcher, she’s had a direct view into life’s impermanence and how people faced with terminal conditions assess choices they’ve made. “At the end of their time, people regret not seeing family, not taking risks or trying things.”

Noted. She had my full attention within the first 30 seconds of our call.

Who wouldn’t want greater presence with family, the pursuit of passion projects and personal growth? Continue reading “Quiet That Inner Voice & Make Time To Follow Your Passions!”

Triumph Over Work/Family Conflict & Hack Your Way To Better Balance

#MomsBalanceHacks #MomsSelf-Care #MomsPersonalGrowth

“Wait… do you remember the rules? You have to stay inside the playground, okay?”  The child spun around sheepishly and nodded with a big grin, then skipped merrily back to the circle of kids sitting on the grass.

How did an ordinary pick-up for her two boys morph into having her own baker’s dozen of little people?

“There was and end of the year BBQ at school that began at 4:30 pm and the afterschool program brought the kids inside at 4:30 until their parents picked them up. All of them would miss the event..” Once Sasha realized this, she quickly began texting parents…offering to help. She signed out eleven kids that day (in addition to her own) and took the swirling circle of excited kids into the playground. “There were rules…they had to stay in the area where I could see them…all of them. It didn’t make sense for me not to take that extra step and pick up more than just my own children.” Continue reading “Triumph Over Work/Family Conflict & Hack Your Way To Better Balance”

List of Great Reads (& Listens)

#MomsGrowthHacks #MomsCreativity #GettingUnstuck #MomsLearningNewThings

I read (and listen) to a lot of amazing advice and research.  It’s a tremendous source of learning and support on my journey.  I was that little girl who would leave the library with a stack of books so high I could barely carry them.

I hope you enjoy my list of recent reads (or podcasts)  Continue reading “List of Great Reads (& Listens)”

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