learning Archives - Best Mom Blogs For Self-Care | Mom's Hierarchy Of Needs

Curb the Invisible Tax on Your Time and Energy

Our society still favors the quick fix. And sells us the idea that self-care is something you can buy. Of course, it’s not. But we’re bombarded with the promise of relaxation, health or energy, on everything from laundry detergent to smoothies. And what happens when that promise isn’t fulfilled?

There is a connection between what you buy and how overwhelmed you are. When Moms were surveyed about the mental load, the top culprit was housework. And in the pandemic study, 78% of surveyed parents are doing more of it. A lot more. And all of the stuff, that we buy or acquire, comes with an invisible tax. Do you want to clean and maintain those things forever? Probably not. So, there are strategies to shift this cycle. We can become more intentional about what comes into our homes. And it’s not just about saving time, money and mental energy. We can help save the planet.

The Problem, our Societal ‘Engine’ is Driven by Consumerism

Stephanie Seferian, Author, Podcaster and Minimalism Expert said, “People who have been in their houses for the past year are looking at their possessions through a more critical lens. ‘Why did I spend my hard-earned money on this? Is it improving my quality of life? Why do I have 12 mugs when I can only drink coffee out of one at a time?’” She often engages with people who are new to sustainable thinking. Stephanie said, “The pandemic’s been very hard for a lot of people. But in some ways, the great pause has given us the breathing room to ask these questions. And the process of not going anywhere or needing ‘the new thing’ has really opened their eyes to the facade that is essentially consumer culture. It usually starts there.” Yes!

And the Challenge is Bigger Than Plastic

On the journey from interested to expert, Stephanie has learned a lot about the state of the planet. And what we can do to help. She said, “What surprised me is that Continue reading “Curb the Invisible Tax on Your Time and Energy”

Managers, Here’s Why You Should Treat Working Parents Like Ferraris

“If the leaders among us, who get to choose what they do with their lives and are incredibly resourced are still trapped by the system, then something’s really broken. And we need to acknowledge that this matrix we’re all agreeing to, doesn’t work,” said Amy Henderson, Author and Entrepreneur. After hundreds of interviews, she learned working Mothers, believed that they were failing. Despite the positive shifts they felt.

Rebuilding routines, with each new child, is like unpacking after a move. Nothing fits in the same way. Babies learn how to walk and talk. And we learn new ways to manage life’s responsibilities, including work. The first year after a child is born, is often considered the hardest. But the adjustments come with significant upside, beyond the parental joy that sustains us.

Amy learned how this high-stress time, unlocks exponential growth for parents. And she became passionate about reframing working parenthood. Because the return to work is often where the love of parenting meets friction. But what if work was different? What if parents and their organizations could Continue reading “Managers, Here’s Why You Should Treat Working Parents Like Ferraris”

Working Parents Get Your Mojo Back! Flaunt Don’t Hide Your Superpowers

“I asked working Moms, who had good relationships with their kids and thriving careers, how could I have both. I was on maternity leave with 3 kids under the age of 4. So, I called them from a very raw, liminal place.” said Amy Henderson, Author & Entrepreneur. Those calls, to understand if successful working Motherhood was even possible, led her to 4 years of research. She said, “I learned that the things that break you, are also the things that can make you.”

The work and parenting fit was always hard. Moms are blindsided by how difficult it is to get into leadership. Then we’re gaslighted into feeling inept once we’re there. So, we end up taking our superpowers for granted. But like elite athletes, the intense training of parenthood, makes you stronger. And the collaboration, decision making, empathy, presence and efficiency skills that you’ve honed, make you a more agile leader.

Working Motherhood is Harder in the US Than Anywhere Else

In her new book. Tending: Parenthood & the Future of Work, Amy cites research that many of us have experienced. “Mommy bias is the greatest trigger for workplace discrimination. And found that mothers are 79% less likely to get hired or promoted when compared to an equally qualified woman without a child.” And in a culture where career progress equals success, it’s not surprising that being diminished at work leads to self-doubt. Worse, most mothers have sole, co or primary breadwinning responsibilities, which elevates the penalties from inconvenience to financial liability. And it’s an economic double-bind that most women don’t escape. She added, “The US has one of the largest Continue reading “Working Parents Get Your Mojo Back! Flaunt Don’t Hide Your Superpowers”

Come Back Stronger After Leaning Out or Back In from Your Career Post-Kids

“I had read Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In and the counter points by Anne-Marie Slaughter. So, there was this conversation happening,” said Donielle Buie, Human Resource Leader and Work/Life expert, “And I agree, we need to change policy. But I kept thinking to myself, there’s a woman right now who’s got two kids and is ready to quit her job! She can’t figure out how to make this all work. And I didn’t feel like people were talking about that enough. Or how to make these decisions related to career and family. So, that was my foray into the work/life space.”

Almost half of Mothers take time out of the workforce due to childcare. But Donielle has done what few have. She downshifted, opted out and then came back, professionally stronger. Millions of Moms are deciding to lean into, out of or back from, their careers through Covid. And historically, women don’t fare well when they opt out. But Donielle’s journey is a masterclass on how to navigate the care and career fit.

What About Parental Leave?

Donielle experienced the reality of navigating leave with her first child. “It was like, you had a baby? Here is a $5,000 stipend on top of disability. I worked at a small company so, they gave us dollars on top of short-term disability. But didn’t have a more formal extended leave policy. Even with that, I took unpaid leave because I wanted to be home for 6 months,” she said. “I thought, we should have parental leave because people had kids. Why don’t we have a better policy? Then as we started thinking about having a second, it was sort of like, okay how in the heck are Continue reading “Come Back Stronger After Leaning Out or Back In from Your Career Post-Kids”

How to Reset Your Career When You’re Depleted

Over 2 million women have already left the workforce in the pandemic. And without childcare, eldercare or the ability to take a paid leave, many more plan to downshift, resign or switch professions altogether.

Before deciding what to do next, you need clarity about what you need. But pivots require strategy. And strategic thinking, requires mental energy. And Covid’s mental load, Zoom-school and housework, have drained most parents dry.

Peggy Foster, an HR Consultant, Executive Coach and Artist, spent more than 2 decades in Human Resources and Organizational Development. She’s an expert in professional transitions and navigated her own exit from corporate life.

It may feel impossible to make the space. But Peggy’s process highlights how self-care and reflection, even in small doses, can lead to big breakthroughs.

Don’t ‘Empty’ Yourself for Others

Peggy explained, “When we take space for ourselves, it feels like we’ve gone against society and how we’ve been trained as women, to put everybody else first. Feed the kids, clean the house, make sure everybody is happy, get that job done at work and the truth is, you Continue reading “How to Reset Your Career When You’re Depleted”

How You Can Say No at Work

Your Masterclass In Leadership Courtesy of the Pandemic

It’s hard to say no at work. And pushing back during a global recession, may feel career limiting, if not career ending. Mel Robbins, Personal Development Expert and Best-selling Author, shared how to set work boundaries during her session at the Massachusetts Women’s conference last month. She shares how to say no, improve your productivity and elevate your leadership skills.

Mel wisely reminds us that change creates opportunities. But keeping a positive mindset is critical for the resilience we need to seize them. “As we’re all learning in this pandemic, we’re not stuck where we are,” Mel said. “I think one of the biggest opportunities when it comes to managing your mindset, particularly for success, happiness and feeling like you’re still in control, is realizing that everything is pivoting out there.”

Stay Nimble

Pivots, a rapid change in direction, abound in the pandemic. It’s dizzying but there’s an upside. Mel explains, “Have the confidence to try new things, to pivot, experiment and adjust course. Make sure that you are going up and down, with the up and down changes.” Yes! Although the increased mental load makes it difficult, she recommends how to reclaim space for focused work by Continue reading “How You Can Say No at Work”

The Great Quest for Milk: 3 Ways to Reclaim a Positive Mindset, from Mel Robbins

“The challenge right now is focus and motivation. You may think, ‘why can’t I just tune it out?’ But it’s not you. There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s very difficult to focus on things that matter,” said Mel Robbins, Author and personal development expert, at the Massachusetts Conference for Women.

The pandemic has pushed us past our cognitive limits. And she shared three simple rules to help us regain some control. She went onto explain one of the reasons we’re struggling to concentrate and practical steps we can take, “You’re experiencing something right now that psychologists call, moral fatigue.”

Moral Fatigue Zaps Energy (and Motivation)

Moral fatigue, is like the mental load’s evil cousin. Our brains are not comfortable with having every decision, including small ones, carry life threatening consequences. And in Covid-19, when ‘normal’ activities bring the risk of illness or death, it’s draining. Mel said, “If you’ve got parents or relatives that you’re worried about living through this pandemic, while working from home and doing everything that you’ve been doing, it requires more mental fuel for your brain to get through the day.” Right. Why aren’t we used to this by now?

When Getting Milk, Got Complicated

Mel explained why, “So, Continue reading “The Great Quest for Milk: 3 Ways to Reclaim a Positive Mindset, from Mel Robbins”

The Details of How to Make Personal Change Stick

A Book Review For Pathways to Possibility by Rosamund Stone Zander

I read and listen to books about everything from bravery and acceptance to productivity and leadership. I’ve been in the slow but intentional process of self-renewal for years. Recently, I discovered Pathways to Possibility by Rosamund Stone Zander. It’s the companion to one of my favorite books, The Art of Possibility that she co-authored with her husband, Benjamin Zander.

The best of cognitive science teaches that our thoughts affect our feelings. And ultimately, our happiness. Self-help can be heavy on the ‘why’ but light on the ‘how.’ It’s rare to find details about internalizing big ideas. Adopting new routines is not the same as resetting one’s internal Continue reading “The Details of How to Make Personal Change Stick”

Killing it at Work but Completely Stressed in Life? You Need These Books!

Have you ever questioned yourself, or your sanity, navigating professional life post-kids?

You are in excellent company! Authors Sheryl Sandberg, Anne Marie Slaughter, Tiffany Dufu, Brigid Schulte, Shonda Rimes and Jessica Turner have all written about the challenges of ambition, identity and how professional life differs for Moms.

I’m surrounded by talented women. All of whom stitch together a patchwork-quilt of childcare coverage, while managing unrealistic expectations from employers, family members and sometimes, themselves!

We invest in and rely on our careers, but achieving stability and growth, still Continue reading “Killing it at Work but Completely Stressed in Life? You Need These Books!”

What Happens When You Run Multiple-Businesses… at the Same Time?

“The common thread among everything, is that I see a ‘hole,’ and create that thing that I want to have,” said Christine Koh. The Neuroscientist turned Blogger, turned Consultant and Online Retailer, has become an entrepreneurial savant. Creating products, that satisfy her own unmet needs, has led to running 5 (yep FIVE) ventures simultaneously. She notes, “I haven’t been trained in any of them. In all cases, (before starting) I asked (myself) will other people find it useful?”

Popular wisdom says ‘stick to your strengths’ and ‘ruthlessly focus.’ It’s reasonable advice…but what if it’s not working? Sticking to the wrong thing can limit your growth…or lead to burnout. We become so invested in our chosen fields. Work that fits post-college, may feel restrictive later, as we try to ascend and raise kids. Change is hard. Career change, in an unstable economy, can feel reckless. Many Moms linger in professional roles that have become stale. Tenure can buy that fragile, yet oh-so-valuable benefit, flexibility.

What if we have the drive, inclination and talent, to do something very different? Can we build our own flexibility? Christine still enjoys the challenge, variety and freedom that a constellation of professional interests creates.

Learn How You Learn Best

“In neuroscience, I was Continue reading “What Happens When You Run Multiple-Businesses… at the Same Time?”

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