“When Mothers are struggling in the workplace, they have to ask themselves, ‘what do I have control of and what can I bring to bear?’ How can I make systems changes in the workplace? And do I have the right people on my personal board of directors, such as mentors, sponsors and coaches, who ‘get’ the work of mothers?” said Dr. Lynn Wooten, Author, Educator and University President.
Do you feel powerful enough to change your daily life? Moms often feel like their careers, workloads, health, rights and time, are beyond their control. Our wellbeing depends on access to healthy options and time to exercise them. Having good choices often requires a supportive workplace or professional power. After all, mammograms, workouts and therapy, don’t fit on the calendar without work flexibility and psychological safety to self-advocate. So how can you use your power at work to ensure your needs are met?
Our Relationship to Work Has Shifted
Moms have adopted a more transactional relationship to work, to match their transactional relationship to power in the workplace. Real power is not just deciding ‘how’ to do things well but having discretion over when and whether or not you do them at all.
This week kicked off the annual world economic forum (WEF) in Davos and once again, global progress towards women’s equity was on the agenda. It’s not just the health gap that threatens our wellbeing. Women continue to face wage, wealth and leadership gaps and fleeting access to power makes it harder to overcome the barriers.
Because Work Stress is Corrosive to Our Health
Toxic bosses or org cultures lead to attrition and mental health challenges. Although the “great resignation” was largely led by women, especially in leadership roles (often to reclaim mental, physical, emotional, or financial health) few employers addressed the underlying breach in trust. The World Health Organization explains, “Poor working environments – including discrimination and inequality, excessive workloads, low job control and job insecurity – pose a risk to mental health.”
Women are already at greater risk for anxiety and depression, and rates continue to skyrocket post-pandemic. So, if you’re suffering in your workplace, don’t minimize it. There are opportunities to tap into your most powerful voice and gain support, or plot your escape.
Pause Before Choosing to Stay in or Leave a Job
Lynn researches and teaches about leadership. Last year, I was fortunate to participate in her training session for The Partnership at Moorehouse College where she shared lessons from the book she co-authored, “The Prepared Leader.” Although studies show, parents gain critical leadership skills and women in leadership have a positive impact on everything from innovation to profits, we’re still woefully underrepresented and face more scrutiny. The stats are even worse if you’re also a woman of color, disabled or LGBTQ+.
So how much discomfort is too much? How do you decide if a job no longer serves you? Lynn explained, “Everything is about understanding the pros and cons. Ask yourself, ‘How do I live an integrated life? How do I make sure that my self-care, work care, and family care are there?’ If you can’t do all three, then you have to think about your exit plan.”
Calculate Your Role’s Return on Investment
Lynn, describes herself as “a long-time working mom” and recommends a holistic assessment of your needs. She added, “Before choosing to exit, ask yourself, ‘how am I going to make this work?’ and ‘what is the time span to get the return on investment I need from this job or career move?’ and ‘is this job going to be advantageous to my career?’ Sometimes you’re in a job and it’s not fun but long term; it’s going to be advantageous. So, think about the long game as Dorie Clark says because the big picture is important.” Less workplace power, often means less control over your time and less control over your time, leads to more stress.
Activate Your Allies
It’s difficult to escape the emotional drain of a difficult work situation but community, helps. So, broaden your base of support. Lynn said, “In Arrive and Thrive, we talked about showing up to be your best self. Showing excellence is an important principle but in many cases it’s not enough and that’s why relationships matter. So, look for allies in all different forms. Some of my best allies have been men because they had daughters, wives or sisters, and they better understood what it was like for working mothers.”
Showing up strong isn’t just about embracing your inner leader. It’s having people who will back you up so that your message is received. Whether you’re asking for time off, more money, a promotion, childcare subsidy or better healthcare coverage.
Ask Yourself, if You Are Learning?
Mothers can be terrified of stretch assignments or demanding roles, because caregiving is so dynamic. Although high profile positions can feel risky, there is also risk with stagnation or underemployment. Lynn said, “Sometimes in even the hardest situations I’m learning. You learn from bad bosses and after working for 30 plus years, those lessons have been salient and valuable. So, ask yourself, ‘am I learning in this job?’ and ‘am I helping others learn?’ There’ve been situations where I’ve said, ‘this is a hard job but there’s a reason why I was placed here’ and sometimes that reason is to be in service to others.”
Develop Your Personal Learning Plan
Although Lynn leads a university, she said there are many learning modalities we can all benefit from. She explained, “I think every quarter you should have a personal learning plan. There are so many free resources, like LinkedIn and internet courses. In addition to conferences, like the Simmons Leadership conference. So, look for those efficient and effective ways to learn. Decide, ‘what books am I going to read this year?’ Include fiction and nonfiction.” There are many options to deepen expertise and amplify impact, inside and outside of our professional lives.
Note, Your Learning Can be “Relational”
Mothers often feel isolated and it can be jarring to shift your work, home, childcare and other systems when conditions in your life change. But Lynn wisely reminds us to rely on others through each stage. She said, “I make time in my personal development plan for relational learning because I’m learning from other mothers. Like my girlfriends and women colleagues. So often, working moms become isolated in the 9:00 to 5:00 cycle of ‘I’ve got to get to work, I have to pick up the kids’ and we already know we don’t make time for self-care, but we also don’t make time for learning.”
Ready to become more powerful? Growth is ongoing and reinvigorating. We can do so, in community, with an integrated review of our needs, supportive allies and being strategic about the impact of career changes.
Many thanks to the talented Dr. Lynn Perry Wooten!
See her speak at the Simmons Leadership conference on March 30th in Boston or attend online. Also, check out books she’s co-authored, “Arrive and Thrive: 7 Impactful Practices for Women Navigating Leadership,” and “The Prepared Leader: Emerge from Any Crisis More Resilient Than Before” and follow her great adventure on LinkedIn.
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About Dr. Wooten:
Dr. Wooten is the ninth president of Simmons University and the first African American to lead the university. A seasoned academic and an expert on organizational development and transformation, Lynn specializes in crisis leadership, diversity and inclusion, and positive leadership – organizational behavior that reveals and nurtures the highest level of human potential. Lynn is an innovative leader, presenter, and prolific author whose research has informed her work in the classroom and as an administrator. With leadership at the core of her work, Dr. Wooten’s research has ranged from an NIH-funded investigation of how leadership can positively alleviate health disparities to leading in a crisis and managing workforce diversity. She is co-author of the Wall Street Journal best-selling book Arrive and Thrive: 7 Impactful Practices for Women Navigating Leadership and a co-author on her latest book The Prepared Leader. She has also authored two previous books, Positive Organizing in a Global Society: Understanding and Engaging Differences for Capacity Building and Inclusion (2016) and Leading Under Pressure: From Surviving to Thriving Before, During, and After a Crisis (2010). Sharing her work at nearly 60 symposia and conferences, she also is the author of nearly 30 journal articles and more than 15 book chapters, as well as managerial monographs and numerous teaching cases.
Lynn has also maintained a robust clinical practice, providing leadership development, education, and training for a wide variety of companies and institutions, from the Kellogg Foundation to Harvard University’s Kennedy School to Google.
Lynn grew up in Philadelphia. She is married to David Wooten, a chaired marketing professor at the University of Michigan Ross School of Business. They have two children, Justin and Jada.
