“When it comes to managing your mental health be open and curious about what could become a sustainable menu of options. Whether it’s picking up something you may have tried in the past like yoga, meditation, or experimenting with something new like sound healing, not every strategy will fit every situation. That’s why it’s helpful to build in variety over the long-term,” said Valerie Abrigo Rivera, Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Reiki, Yoga and Sound Bath Practitioner.
Let’s face it, moms are time bending magicians and many of us, run household operations with the efficiency of four-star generals. Yes, there are benefits to being productive but the great time squeeze and lack of support, can lead to inflexibility. Which carries its own burdens.
Mental health for moms continues to decline and there are many reasons. Including being “too busy” or mentally spent to care for ourselves. Instead of looking for one “answer” to your mental health needs be willing to dabble and evolve your toolkit of practices over time.
Approach Your Needs with Curiosity
Growing awareness for the mental health crisis has led to more resources. Your health, family history, life experiences and season will help define what you need but it can be confusing to choose a path.
However, most of the behaviors that support your mental and physical wellbeing at the top of the Mom’s Hierarchy of Needs, like stress management, movement, sleep or time with other adults, require space to yourself which is pretty rare for most mothers. Valerie is a traditional therapist who also teaches reiki, yoga and sound bath healing. When I asked what works best for people motivated to enhance mental health, she said, “it depends on the individual and their openness to trying new modalities.”
Holistic Practices Can Support Traditional Therapy and Vice Versa
Many of the treatments, routines and practices to improve mental health you hear about the most often have an evidence base and often, they work in concert with each other. Valerie said, “Traditional, or ‘talk therapy’ is a space to identify strategies, skills and tools to process trauma or to make meaning from your experiences. When holistic or complementary practices are introduced, it can help integrate and amplify the work you’re already doing in therapy.”
You (Probably) Need More than One Form of Stress Relief
Many wellness practices that have become popular in the US, may not resemble their spiritual origins and there are a wide range of options. Reiki, meditation, yoga, and sound bath healing have all been proven to manage stress and promote overall health.
Again, most of us need more than “one thing” to deal with the intensity of daily life. Even if you have a great therapist and exercise, it’s probably not sufficient in the current climate. Social tensions, political division and the rising cost of living have heightened despair and strain on families. So how can you possibly add mental healthcare to your agenda?
Be Flexible to Challenge the Time Crunch
Okay, we’re forced to respond to a lot of imposed structure. From professional commitments to our children’s naps or school calendars. Not to mention the relentless pace of household operations. And to accommodate this, we tend to schedule everything except for what we really enjoy but evolving your mental health support while parenting often means becoming flexible.
Valerie was in her car between camp pick up and drop off when we spoke. She said, “Today, when I finally get back home, I can make a cup of tea and settle down for 5 minutes without my phone or screens. On another day, self-care might look like going to a yoga studio or scheduling a walk with a friend. There’s value of diversifying how we approach and prioritize time for ourselves rather than always putting ourselves on the back burner.”
Use Serendipity to Make it Social
You don’t always need an elaborate plan to spend time with other adults. “Sometimes it’s making that phone call to another mom friend for some connection while you walk and chat. Or sending a text message to a friend who would also benefit from getting in movement and some fresh air. This summer between the chaos of the camp drop offs, I’ve had the opportunity to link up with some other friends even when it’s only for 25 or 30 minutes. Motherhood can feel so isolating and we can look for opportunities to build community and as a reminder that we’re in it together.”
Hold Space for Your Needs
Valerie said, “I think therapy is great for everyone, of course as a therapist I’m biased but it’s helpful to have space held for us when we hold space for others. Especially the young humans we’re raising.” Structured time on your calendar is great when you can make that happen, but you have other options if that doesn’t work for you right now.
She added, “When you have time, energy and finances to do so, introduce whole body experiences where you can give yourself permission to take up space and breathe. You can tune into parts of the body that we don’t pay attention to because we’re so busy strapping kids in and out of car seats.”
Enlist Support Whenever Possible
If you’re partnered, involve your partner to make time for mental health and self-care strategies. Or work with school schedules, grandparent care or other forms of coverage, to make room for your wellbeing. Valerie said, “the last several weeks I have been super intentional about choosing to attend courses. I check the family schedule first, and say to my hubby, ‘I’d like to go to this class on this day, do you see any conflicts?’ Or sometimes, it’s ‘hey can you do 2 separate pickups for the kids on this date so that I can accommodate this session?’ I’ve had the opportunity to attend a sound bath on the beach and a yoga workshop this summer. It seems small but I make sure to schedule time for really meaningful things, even if I can’t do that every day.”
Remember, stay open to experimentation. She added, “Think about what would feel really good to try. Even if the first one or two things aren’t the best fit, that’s okay because you’re going to learn something about yourself.”
Many thanks to the talented Valerie Abrigo Rivera!
If you’re in the Boston area, check out her upcoming Reiki and sound bath sessions. And follow her great adventure on her website, Instagram and Linked In.
——-
📚 Pre-order the book, Repair with Self-Care: Your Guide to the Mom’s Hierarchy of Needs.
Enjoy the gift of more time for you. Self-care support, app & packages for Moms.
Ready to put yourself back onto your to-do list? Take a TimeCheck.
Shared your story yet? Take our quick survey to change how workplaces support parents.
Employers, ready to rewrite hidden workplace rules? Become Allies@Work?
About Valerie:
Valerie is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) in Massachusetts with a 200-hour Yoga Teacher Training certificate & is Reiki Level I – certified. She has over 10 years of professional experience working in a variety of settings including community mental health, clinical research and public health education.
Click here to see Valerie’s complete work history on LinkedIn.
Valerie invites you to unlock your authentic self in order to explore sustainable lifestyle changes to improve your overall health & wellbeing. She will help you embrace the strategies, skills & tools you already possess to experience the quality of life you deserve.
Reach out today to take that first step towards feeling like you again!
