Feel Like Your Time is Running Away? Get a Grip on Your Calendar Rules

“Flexibility to work early, late, and be offline with my kids when I need to. Allowing me to block time on my calendar when I am unavailable to be with my kids.”

“I was in counseling all last year. …I started a regular exercise regimen, journaling, a mindfulness practice, and I started penciling out time alone on my calendar to do whatever I want to do.”

“… Protected time for exercise where I won’t be interrupted or scheduled over.”

We’ve heard from over 3,700 parents, mostly women (97%) about their work/life and wellness needs since March of 2020. Although the conditions changed dramatically in the past 4 years, the sad state of self-care for Moms hasn’t. Okay, time for mental, physical and emotional health has always been a challenge. But it was among the first things to go when Covid hit and hasn’t returned. In the latest results from our current study wave, 79% cite doing “terribly” or “not as well as usual” at self-care.

So, as the world moves on, many remain stuck in a state of emergency. Between limited childcare, a tight economy, and lack of relief at home or in workplaces, there aren’t quick solutions. But there are shifts you can make. But where can you begin?

Start With Your Calendar

Whether you feel fulfilled or frenetic has something to do with your schedule. Yes, part of that is how you spend your time, and if what you’re doing drives any joy. But it’s also about the commitments you have, when you have them, and whether there’s any free space on your calendar.

Our schedules often require constant movement. And all of those little transitions, like pick-ups and drop offs, meetings, baths, doctors and dinners, makes everything more error prone. You’re always one sick child, downpour, or traffic jam from having your schedule break. So, take a peek at what’s on your calendar and start with your professional life.

To Free Up Self-Care Space

In our study, stress about work availability is almost as high as the need to be ‘on’ at home. Almost 9% in our current survey wave, cite “not having enough time during the workday” as a barrier to self-care. Followed by just over 6% who are “worried about taking time off or being unavailable to their colleagues or managers during the workday.” So, untangling how the planned obligations show up for you helps to disrupt patterns of overload. And make it easier to see where your time really goes.

Rethink Your Scheduling Rules

What guidelines do you use to manage your commitments? It won’t always go according to your plan, but get intentional about what you want to have happen. For example, the maximum number of meetings you’re willing to have in a day. Or desired space in between meetings and days of the week you’d choose to have meetings. You can use this process to trim or boost other priorities too. Like social outings, kids activities, workouts, or your bedtime. However, since professional obligations tend to be the most invasive on our calendars, start there.

And if You Manage Others, Model It

Unfortunately, it’s hard to be unapologetic about your space for well-being unless your work culture supports it. There are pressures, often valid ones, to meet deadlines for our employers, businesses, clients or committees
But studies validate what many of us see in organizations. The leaders who model self-care, tend to create the psychological safety, that frees their teams to care for themselves. So, even if you’re on your tenth strategy pivot or need to submit the annual budget (again) protecting space for yourself is critical.

Pro Tips to Help Reign In Your Schedule

Reduce the time window you will participate in meetings. For example, if you typically accept meetings at any time that you’re actually awake and available, you’re likely to lose precious deep work or self-care time. So,consider shrinking your window, i.e. 10 am until 3 pm for meetings. If you typically work about 8 or 9 hours a day, then you suddenly will have a much larger percentage of unscheduled time. Use it for self-care, dealing with unplanned needs at home, taking on a new project or finishing an old one.
Limit events that compete with sleep. Let’s get real, with kids you’re very unlikely to have “extra” time to “catch up” on sleep. So, whether it’s evening or early morning events, consider a limit. For example, twice a month or no more than once per week, so that you get more rest. Because decent sleep is the most undervalued productivity tool. And even if you’re invited to the event of the season, if you’re exhausted from too many late nights, or early breakfast meetings, it will erode your clarity.
That includes work travel. Professional travel is not all bad. But unless you’re in a role where high amounts of travel are integral to the job, like sales, you will benefit from guardrails. Decide, ‘how many nights at most, do I want to be away from home?’ Or, ‘how many trips can I take in a given month without it negatively impacting my health and homelife?’ And decide, should they be back-to-back for efficiency or never back-to-back?
Build in calendar space after intense activities. So, on those weeks where you’ve been away a lot or in full-days of events, whether from work travel, caring for family or vacation, block off at least a half day or full day after you’re back. Then use that time for extra rest in the morning, deep work, email catch up and critical projects. Create time you need to plan and focus, before releasing your calendar to the serendipity of group scheduling.
Balance obligations with enjoyment. Yes, set boundaries with reckless abandon whenever you can. Of course, the psychological safety may not be there at work and there are many time commitments we can’t avoid. Whether it’s a client meeting, doctors appointment, or surprise visit from your Mother-in-Law. So, make sure they are offset with commitments that restore you. Like seeing people you really love to see, and going to places you really want to go.

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Enjoy the gift of more time. Self-care packages for Moms, delivered to your door.