“My self-care feels like it changes by the minute and in this moment, I would give myself a C minus. Based on the season I’m in right now, self-care would mean being less scheduled because I know my biggest battle is that from eight am to seven pm, there’s no time to rest.” said Dr. Idia Thurston, Pediatric Clinical Psychologist and Professor.
Moms are overwhelmingly responsible for most household responsibilities and decisions, including family health. But we often make these choices under murky, dynamic conditions so, our own health becomes an afterthought. We continue, however, to navigate daily life and do remarkable things within our communities and families. So, how can we replenish our reserves and be proactive about our health through times of strain?
Mental, Emotional and Physical Health are Linked
The mind/body connection is not new but it’s important to remember our bodies are complex systems and everything is intertwined. In part one from our interview, Learn to Put Your Body Image Into Perspective to Dial Down Stress, Idia shared results from her recent research study. She and her team learned regardless of what the scale said, people with the best health outcomes believed their body size is “normal” regardless of how others viewed it.
She also shared the implications of this insight, how heavily our perceptions influence mental health. So much so, that worrying about food choices or body image, might outweigh the desired physical benefits. Because “stress, stigma and anxiety” not only drain our happiness but our health outcomes. So, how can we increase self-care practices to manage stress and reactivity?
Your Health is Multi-Dimensional
Idia is a clinical psychologist who specializes in children, but she takes a holistic look at health and wellbeing. She said, “The way I think about psychology is from the 8 dimensions of wellness perspective that’s through SAMHSA. It really focuses not just on physical and mental health but includes spiritual health, financial health and emotional health. It helps us think more broadly.”
“Good Health” Is Usually Not the Default
Idia said, “I care a lot about the intersection between physical health and mental health. And why some groups have different health outcomes than others.” Her research looks at a lot of factors, including gender, age, race, ethnicity and behavior. Although there are many reasons for health disparities, the intersections can add risk. For example, women are already at greater risk for most stress related illness. This includes everything from anxiety and depression to autoimmune diseases. Factor in other layers, like motherhood, caring for adults, or being in an underserved community, health outcomes are even worse.
Self-Care is Personal
In our research studies, most moms are hungry for more discretionary time. The schedules we keep are fraught with abrupt shifts in focus, and emotional pendulum swings. We’re drowning in mental load, decision fatigue and in many cases, guilt about the tradeoffs and limited choices available. Inevitably, the needs of our kids and other family members, whether that’s partners, parents or both feel quite fixed because many of them are. If you add in career demands the activities at the top of the Mom’s Hierarchy of Needs framework, are often paused or abandoned. But it’s not just about self-care routines, like sleep and stress management, but time to learn and grow.
Take Time to Process Your Thoughts
Idia said, “Self-care for me right now would be creating more space to think. In many ways, when you go from meeting to meeting you don’t even have time to process what just happened before the next thing. It’s brain overload and then you’re exhausted by the time the day ends. Which makes sense, because you’ve been doing a marathon with your brain. So, for me self-care would look like blocking out more time for that thinking process.”
Learning professionals and teachers know this, receiving too much information too quickly without time to marinate, generally means it won’t stick. Yet we rarely have this opportunity in our professional or personal schedules. So we spin in loops, when in many cases, with time for self-reflection we can innovate to solve our own problems.
Find Strategies for Intentional Rest
Idia also plans to become more intentional about rest. “I just came back from a conference in Barbados, and yes I needed to work but I tagged on a few extra days to restore and not work.” Of course, a Caribbean trip is not accessible on a regular basis. However, she added that she’d like to make more space in her daily life to “take a walk outside and process her thoughts” between activities. Walking and time in nature have both been shown to increase creative thinking and productivity.
And Refuel with Great People
Idia said, “The last one that always gives me energy, as an extrovert, is being around people. But people who feel who cup fill, right? Not cup drain because we can be around people who just siphon off your energy. So, I enjoy being around people where I can have intellectually stimulating conversations, support, camaraderie and allyship.”
Many thanks to the talented Dr. Idia Thurston, PhD!
Follow her great adventure on Linked In.
——-
📚 Order the book, Repair with Self-Care: Your Guide to the Mom’s Hierarchy of Needs.
Enjoy the gift of more time for you. Self-care support, app & packages for Moms.
Ready to put yourself back onto your to-do list? Take a TimeCheck.
Shared your story yet? Take our quick survey to change how workplaces support parents.
Employers, ready to rewrite hidden workplace rules? Become Allies@Work?
About Idia:
Dr. Idia Binitie Thurston, PhD (she/her) is a licensed clinical psychologist, professor of health sciences and applied psychology, Affiliate Professor of Africana Studies, and Associate Director of the Institute for Health Equity and Social Justice Research at Northeastern University. Her research explores how race, ethnicity, social class, gender, size, and sexuality intersect and influence health outcomes, inequities, and well-being in youth and families. She directs the CHANGE lab, where she collaborates with scholars, youth, and community organizations to develop and disseminate strengths-based, culturally-responsive tools that reduce stigma, enhance wellness, and promote resilience. She is passionate about mentoring, dismantling structural and systemic barriers, and promoting career pathways for individuals underrepresented in health sciences.
