?As you pack on all of these different identities, like your identity at work, it can sort of cloud you from feeling like who you are. Or what it means to be yourself. So, I reflect on what makes me feel like ?me? and not the other titles I have. That’s at the root of self-care,? said Dr. Rachel Blake, Obstetrician, Gynecologist and Maternal Health Advocate.
Over time, our identities can feel like an amalgam of things we do for others. And because Motherhood is so fulfilling, and demanding, we tend to abandon rituals for our health or joy. It takes different strategies to feel grounded or at peace when we?re spinning in service. But just like you continue to evolve as a person, so can your self-care. Especially as demands on your time and energy continue to ramp up.
Be Aware of Your Capacity
Rachel said, ?Everyone says, ?you have to fill your cup first? but you truly can?t function on an empty cup. We know what that feels like, those first weeks postpartum when you are extremely empty, and it’s hard to function. You can do that for a few weeks, but you can’t do that for years. I try to remind myself, my friends, colleagues, and patients, that you have to recharge. You get to figure out what that looks like, but you have to do it in order to care for others in a healthy way"
And do Things That Feel ?Like You?
Although Rachel?s career is centered around women?s health, work and parenting can become all consuming, in any profession. So, she?s intentional about making space for wellbeing. When asked what self-care means to her, she said, ?Self-care means continuing to do things that make you feel like yourself. During my residency when I was working 80-hour weeks at a minimum, to feel like myself I went running, saw my friends and traveled when I had vacation time. Now, as a Mom it?s a little harder" Absolutely. But there are ways to make shifts.
Adapt Your Self-Care for This Season
Everything you do to protect your mental, physical, and emotional health will change in some way after having kids. Rachel said, ?I still run but when I’m taking care of the baby, I get him out in the running stroller to run or walk. Or I get outside in nature to garden"
To make finding the time easier, consider small tweaks to your health, or happiness routines. Like, the frequency, duration, or location. So, if you were a purist about doing ?that thing you love? a certain way, or in a specific setting, it?ll be harder to keep it in your life. Expect to make modifications.
Bring in Something New
Is there something you?ve always wanted to try? Whether it?s a hobby, class, friend circle, routine, genre of book or creative pursuit, go for it. And choose to dabble. Unlike reinventing something you?re skilled at, experimentation frees you to get it wrong or right. But without the weight of too much identity attached. You can pick it up and put it down, or away, based on what suits you. How?
Align Your Passions to a Theme
Well, for example, decide that you?re a ?creative? instead of a ?sculptor? or ?dancer" An ?explorer? versus ?world traveler" You can keep the essence of what attracted you to the less-kid-friendly thing you love. Then expand how you honor that intention. In ways that hold more space for your other responsibilities.
It doesn?t mean you can?t break out and paint, act in a play, or write your dissertation, of course you can if it?s important to you. But if your self-care routine has stalled because it?s not what ?it used to be? then liberate yourself. Go for something slightly different that’s still values aligned.
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Many thanks to the talented Dr. Rachel Blake, MD!
Follow Rachel?s great adventure on LinkedIn, and her advocacy work with the fabulous nonprofit Chamber of Mothers.
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About Dr. Rachel Blake:
Dr. Rachel Blake MD is a board-certified Obstetrician-Gynecologist based in Boston, MA. She is a fellow of the American Congress of Obstetrics & Gynecology (ACOG). She completed undergraduate at Princeton University, and received her medical degree from the Warren Alpert Medical School of Brown University. She completed residency training at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, affiliated with Harvard Medical School.
After residency, she continued to work at Beth Israel as an Attending physician and an Instructor of OB/GYN at Harvard Medical School. She recently started seeing patients at East Boston Neighborhood Health Center, and is focused on community health, combating health disparities, and serving the city?s underserved populations.
She also conducts telehealth consults through Maven Clinic, the largest digital patient care platform focusing on pregnancy, postpartum, and pediatrics" She is a board member of Chamber of Mothers, a nonprofit focusing America?s priorities on mothers? rights. She is also a member of Brown Medical Alumni Association Board of Directors, and a consultant for Tinyhood, a patient education platform that focuses on pregnancy, birth, and parenting.
