“I remember moving from Nigeria to the US in 9th grade and this guy at the airport talked to my parents about modeling as an option for me. It was such a brain twist and cultural awakening around how people thought about body weight because in Nigeria, I was teased for being thin. I was the same, but the environment in the US was different,” said Dr. Idia Thurston, Pediatric Clinical Psychologist and Professor.
Women are socialized to seek approval yet we’re more likely to face scrutiny, especially about how we look. And whether we’re validated tends to affect our confidence and later, what we teach our kids.
The reality is, lower body weight doesn’t always translate into metabolic health. And long-term wellbeing relies on many factors, including how we feel. So, how can we experience and model healthier relationships to our bodies?
Beliefs Often Connect to Early Experiences
Idia studies intersections between mental health, health equity and overall health outcomes for kids. When I asked what led her to research links between health, body size and food she explained, “My earliest memories about food were how I could not put on weight to save my life. Growing up in Nigeria, the bigger kids were viewed as showing wealth and abundance, whereas being thin was associated with famine and lack.”
Perception Can Change Everything
The early context switch, from Idia’s native Nigeria to US cultural norms about body size, sparked her exploration. And her research led to a fascinating insight, “Our survey asks people about body weight. And those who perceived their weight as normal, had better health outcomes, even when their body weight number was higher. They had lower depression, blood pressure and less eating disorders. And we did this across four different studies using longitudinal data collected over a 30-year period. And then we specifically focused on 10 years of data during adolescence. And for every single one who said, ‘my weight number is this, but I’m in the normal range’ they did better.”
Including Worries About Weight
Our bodies are complex systems and a lot of factors influence our health. This includes mental and emotional wellbeing, in addition to physical condition, family history, and environment. Idia said, “Programs to help people learn they’re overweight typically start with, ‘let me tell you why your numbers say this and what you should do about it.’ So, if people are somehow protected by thinking, ‘I’m good,’ are we doing harm? Because regardless of what their weight number says, their outcomes are better.”
Do we Just Need Less Stress About Our Bodies?
We know that when people don’t feel good about themselves, it’s generally bad for everything, including health. I asked her if stress is at the heart of the differences in her data. Idia said, “It’s not only stress but stigma.”
Indeed, there’s a lot of shame that comes with not meeting society’s benchmarks, even if they’re not accurate. Idia said, “For example, airplane seats are so tight that not every body size can fit, forcing people to ask for an extra seat or seat belt. We shame people into thinking like there’s something wrong with themselves, based on the sizes of chairs.”
Medical Measures are Imperfect
The field of medicine is evolving constantly. There are still many unknowns about health, illness, and overall wellbeing. Idia explained, “We use criteria for body mass index that was developed a very long time ago and has eugenics roots. Yet we apply that standard to people today. Although a lot of that data has been debunked, those measures are still so embedded into our medical systems. So yes, it is stress, stigma and discrimination that’s driving a lot of those outcomes.”
And There is Power in Positive Self-Regard
Idia said, “Ultimately, we want people to be less depressed, and we want people to have lower blood pressure. As a clinical psychologist, I thought, ‘why are we correcting for something that could be protective?’ And that’s led to a lot of my current research and curiosity around how food is related to body weight. And where our lessons about food come from.”
I plan to invite Idia back to learn about her team’s final research findings. In the meantime, I asked what can we do to set up healthier outcomes for ourselves and with our children?
And Perception Matters More than Reality
Idia said, “The big take home is that perception is what matters, versus what is actually happening. For example, we see in kids when anticipatory anxiety shows up, it looks exactly like kids who are experiencig anxiety. Because it’s all about the perception. If you think something bad is going to happen your body responds as if something bad is happening. In some ways, that’s why treatments like exposure therapy work because you can treat someone who is scared of flying, without ever being on a plane. You can get them to imagine they’re on a plane and their body literally responds like they’re on an airplane. So, perception matters a lot to any psychological construct.”
Our Stories Also Influence Our Parenting
Idia’s specialty is child psychology, and she’s gathering research now about the tween and teen results. She said, “This morning I met with our statistician, and I’m really excited to see what we learn. The kids we’ve studied were between the ages of 12 to 17. So, in this period of adolescence, where there are already so many stressors and being different in any way can add pressure, we want to know which kids are doing well and why.”
We Can Guide our Kids to Reduce our Stress
As women we often carry our own baggage about body size so how can we reduce friction about meals and food habits? Especially when it comes to our kids. As a child psychologist and mom of three, she recommends a balanced approach.
She explained, “I cannot always be around my kids so it’s really important to me that they understand why they’re eating what they’re eating. And how to solve for some of the things they experience. For example, I feel like my kids are hungry all the time and I’m sure many parents can relate. Every time I hear one of them say, ‘I’m hungry’ I’ll ask, ‘did you have lunch?’ And we’ll have conversations about what foods fill you up versus foods that don’t.”
And Help Them Make Informed Choices
We discussed how food can often become a battleground within families, especially with our children. We push certain behaviors and as they get older, they might push back.
Idia said, “I’ll explain to my kids, you can have a cookie you or can have something that’s fibrous that will fill you up. Because the cookie goes through you quickly, due to the nature of processed sugar. And your body takes more time to process the carrots so you’re fuller longer.”
Without Triggering Resistance
Our own perceptions of health and body size can become entangled with our parenting. Idia explained, that there are strategies to ease communication. She said, “So, in our house we have an informal rule, ‘snack on whatever and if you’re hungry again, have a fruit or vegetable.’ So, it’s a little bit of molding but it’s not a hard ‘no’ because we also know the science says restriction increases desire. So, when you say ‘you can’t have that’ kids just want more of that because you’re you’ve restricted them. So it’s all in moderation.”
Many thanks to the talented Dr. Idia Thurston, PhD!
Follow her great adventure on Linked In.
——-
📚 Order the book, Repair with Self-Care: Your Guide to the Mom’s Hierarchy of Needs.
Enjoy the gift of more time for you. Self-care support, app & packages for Moms.
Ready to put yourself back onto your to-do list? Take a TimeCheck.
Shared your story yet? Take our quick survey to change how workplaces support parents.
Employers, ready to rewrite hidden workplace rules? Become Allies@Work?
About Idia:
Dr. Idia Binitie Thurston, PhD (she/her) is a licensed clinical psychologist, professor of health sciences and applied psychology, Affiliate Professor of Africana Studies, and Associate Director of the Institute for Health Equity and Social Justice Research at Northeastern University. Her research explores how race, ethnicity, social class, gender, size, and sexuality intersect and influence health outcomes, inequities, and well-being in youth and families. She directs the CHANGE lab, where she collaborates with scholars, youth, and community organizations to develop and disseminate strengths-based, culturally-responsive tools that reduce stigma, enhance wellness, and promote resilience. She is passionate about mentoring, dismantling structural and systemic barriers, and promoting career pathways for individuals underrepresented in health sciences.
