Moms, Seize the Joy. Get Time Back for Your Interests and Hobbies

“I want to get a new hobby like sewing or painting or pottery. It makes it difficult because I’m a mom and wife that has other tasks. …. Like chores and taking care of the baby and my 9-year-old daughter.”

“(My) tiredness, horrible commute and work hours (are) causing less family, spouse, friends, hobby and me time.”

“(I’m caring for myself when I) take time for myself, get to see friends, (and) work on a hobby

In our research study that began in March of 2020, we’ve now heard from over 3,700 parents most of whom are Moms (97%) about what they need. In January of 2023, we began asking ‘what self-care activities do you want to add to your routines’ in the next year?

Most (59%) want to spend more time pursuing hobbies. That is right behind exercise (69%,) more quality time with their spouse (63%) and sleep (63%.)

But the focus required to establish ourselves professionally and raise kids quickly consumes most of our energy. And we either neglect or dismiss this type of self-care as frivolous. But hobbies are a mood booster and often add that extra sparkle to our personalities. So, how can we reengage with this part of our lives?

Remember Hobbies?

At some point, you had hobbies. Those interests, dalliances or passion projects, outside of work and family life? According to Pew Research, among people in advanced economies hobbies are number 8 of the most cited factors that “make life meaningful.” But they’re still well behind ‘family and children’ (number one.) Or ‘career/occupation’ and ‘material wellbeing’ (two and three respectively.)

They Made a Comeback During Lockdown

Our study began at the height of Covid. Although most parents who responded then were too busy with childcare and eldercare challenges to bake sourdough, many carved hobby-time. Often from the lack of commutes, travel, social engagements and kid’s activities. Especially when those hobbies involved the whole family. Most also vowed to honor their positive lifestyle changes, including hobbies, in post-pandemic life.

Yet We’ve Returned to Chaotic Calendars

Fierce pressure, however, to return to the ‘old normal’ especially in the workplace means many are grieving the loss of their hobbies again. Despite the rise in remote and hybrid work, the complexity of caring for our children has multiplied. Plus, everything from school fundraisers and sports to the birthday party circuit are back on our schedules.

But Hobbies Play a Role we Cannot Ignore

You’ve probably heard how integral play is when it comes to health and development for our kids. But it turns out fun is really great for us as adults too. When we get wrapped up in joyful activities, something magical happens. We’re more likely to stay present and get into the flow or creative state where our minds sharpen, time slows down and stress, evaporates.

Like Boosting Mood, Creativity and Health

Although certain hobbies, like yoga or hiking, have obvious health benefits an NIH study shows having leisure, is good for mental, emotional and physical wellbeing. Most of us have experienced how going off task, whether it’s to play or rest, tends to strengthen our problem-solving abilities. There’s science behind why, including the diminishing returns from overwork.

So, that pause to be present is really good for your brain, including your creativity. Hobbies tend to offer a safe space without the high stakes of performance measurement or need to perfect the outcomes.

Where Can You Start?

If you’re hobby curious, explore your options. Return to a lost love from childhood, learn something completely new, or ‘hobby’ in community with your friends or family. Choose something you’re excited about and won’t feel attached to how well you do it. Once it becomes competitive, or commercial, feeling the need to ‘get it right’ can cause stress.

And Make the Time

“(I’m) pursuing (a) hobby again.”

“(I need) more time for interests outside of my kids.”

“(Caring for myself is) having personal time to relax and explore new interests.”

Like any other new habit, your hobby or interest will be fragile until it’s established in your routine. Moms are often overcome by guilt that derails self-care plans. So, until it’s locked down surround your interest with supportive conditions.

Here are a few to consider:

As Author Eve Rodsky shared in her book, ‘Unicorn Space’ if this feels risky or fragile, find those ‘spiritual friends’ to cheer you on and offer emotional support. That may include people who share your interests.
Choose a time frame where you ideally have childcare coverage, unless you are bringing your family into the activity.
If time alone feels unrealistic based on the age, health or independence of your kids, find a kid-friendly version of what you’d like to do.
Set up those recurring calendar reminders and blocks if you have a shared work or family calendar, to reduce possible conflicts. If you don’t have psychological safety at work, mark the calendar entry as private.
Sign up for a formal or informal class, if you need to learn different skills.

Burnout is rampant right now. But pushing through exhaustion or joylessly checking things off your to-do list can extinguish your spark. We can also lose and perspective and become tunnel visioned in the pursuit of a clear inbox, hitting that revenue goal or, parenting milestone.

So, begin to play the long-game. If you are eager to reclaim personal growth, protect or resurrect that time for hobbies. As one surveyed Mom shared, “I’m on a journey to rediscover interests and use my free time for self-care because at the end of the day it is helpful to my family.” Amen!

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Enjoy the gift of more time. Self-care packages for Moms, delivered to your door.