“I’m a solo parent to a special needs child, primary caregiver to an aging parent with a chronic illness and a healthcare proxy for my grandmother. People don’t lean in enough to ‘match’ their caregiving intensity with the need to decompress. Find your downtime and be really preemptive about self-care. Because when things do erupt and arise, if you haven’t been preemptive, the wear and stress of it hurts that much more,” said Akima Brown, Entrepreneur, Artist and Activist.
Caregiving doesn’t fit neatly with the inflexible hours most careers demand. Including the film industry, where it’s common to move from one high-profile project to the next. Fractional and gig work is on the rise across professions, in part because it offers more flexibility. But having a greater amount of control over your work/life mix, doesn’t always translate into better balance. So how can you exercise what Akima calls “preemptive” self-care, to maintain energy through intense seasons?
Stay Clear About What Brings You Joy
In addition to her work in film production, Akima started a nonprofit to advocate caregiver support in the screen industry. She loves what she’s doing but acknowledges the schedule is demanding. When I asked, ‘what does self-care mean to you?’ she explained, “Self-care is the ability to center myself in joy and there are many things that bring me joy. I love to dance, sing, read and write, from poetry to technical and script writing. I also enjoy classic cartoons with my son.” When your day-to-day commitments vary, how do you ensure there’s room to ground yourself?
Build an Ideal Schedule
Akima has a lot of agency over when she schedules certain types of meetings. So, she started with revisions to her calendar. Akima said, “I completely upended my work schedule and no longer take video calls on Mondays or Fridays. So, I actually have the time to do the work and I automated my calendar, with a calendar link to block out time. It’s a whole lot easier. Now, I’m not sending emails back and forth, it’s just ‘please click here and find time that works for you’ because I’ve already determined when I’m free.” She uses technology to support her intentions and honor her ‘deep work’ days.
But Stay Compassionate When Life Happens
Almost every industry has been impacted by the pandemic and most, continue to pivot. So, many of us face capacity constraints in our careers. But if you manage people, modeling your values consistently, is what makes them real. So, Akima is thoughtful about creating a care-friendly culture for her nonprofit.
She said, “I’m very transparent with my team, and we talk a lot about compassionate accountability and empowered stewardship. So, compassionate accountability is when as a leader, you understand that life happens and ‘this thing’ still has to get done.” So, how do you support your team and get ‘the thing’ done as an organization through the inevitable interruptions?”
Delegate to Create Space for Peace
In the workplace, if you’re managing teams or projects, learning to upskill and delegate becomes critical to your growth and wellbeing. Akima said, “You need to empower people to do ‘that thing’ in your absence. So, I’ll say, ‘here’s what I’m recommending for you to take ownership of that project. Because I can’t touch it.’ That really is my self-care, finding ways to continue to center my joy, find my breath and give myself more peace on any given day.”
Because Self-Care Helps Offset the Unpredictability
We discussed how online calendars and time blocks don’t work for the countless medical appointments we schedule for our kids or parents. As a single Mom, who sometimes works on film sets, she also has to get creative about childcare and eldercare coverage. She said, “There’s always so much I’m holding onto at any given moment, that I have to be aggressively preemptive with self-care.”
Find Different Ways to Refuel
The methods we use to recenter, and restore our sense of wellbeing, tend to shift based on what’s happening in our careers with our health and families. And there is no ‘one size fits all’ routine.
Akima said, “There’s decompressing and finding the breath, but I have to be preemptive and intentional with the planning. So, I hold myself accountable to making sure it happens. For example, earlier today when I realized I hadn’t done it in a couple of days, I stopped everything because I needed a dance break!” Beautiful!
Honor the Preemptive Part and Plan for Your Wellbeing
Our needs are multi-dimensional and Akima differentiates how she manages her energy. She said, “I split even self-care into different categories. Including the care that is solely for myself versus interpersonal and communal care. Like how I engage with my community at large, friends, family and the people I love.”
The lack of self-care for Moms, is rarely about willpower. We’re overworked and have small amounts of highly unpredictable, discretionary time. Akima’s strategy to block out more space for herself, including deep work and quick, delightful routines to re-center is key.
Many thanks to the talented Akima Brown!
Learn more about Akima and her organization, Reel Families for Change on their website, Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn.
——-
Enjoy the gift of more time for you. Self-care support, app & packages for Moms.
Ready to put yourself back onto your to-do list? Take a TimeCheck.
Shared your story yet? Take our quick survey to change how workplaces support parents.
Employers, ready to rewrite hidden workplace rules? Become Allies@Work?
About Akima:
Artist, activist, caretaker, and certified equity specialist, Akima A. Brown is a chief disruptor in entertainment, championing justice for underrepresented workers. Her work of nearly twenty years spans the public and private sectors, centering on systemic solutions-building around equity, inclusion, and access needs.
