Plan for More Space on Your Calendar This Holiday Season

We love the family time and meaning behind the holidays but many of us still feel drained, overcommitted and under supported this time of year. It’s the busiest season for events, deadlines in our professional lives, parties, and sports or performances for our children.

According to the American Psychological Association, “While nearly half of U.S. adults (49%) would describe their stress levels during the traditional U.S. holiday season between November and January as “moderate.” Around two in five (41%) said their stress increases during this time…”

It’s also no secret that Moms do the often invisible work of ‘making holiday magic’ in most families. So, this time of year can feel pretty intense. There’s more to plan, buy, and schedule. Even if you’re not traveling, year-end social commitments mean there’s also more commuting, late nights and disrupted sleep.

Here are a few considerations to streamline your commitments. And maintain your self-care routines as we enter the last 8 weeks of the year.

Decide, How Much Activity is Too Much?

You know how our kids can get super cranky, tired or overstimulated when they have too much going? We’re not that different. We need breaks. So, scan your calendar for any commitments over the next 8 weeks that are outside of your normal schedule. Or those that require childcare, bringing a gift or travel arrangements.

Look for weeks when you have schedule clashes with multiple events. Or, for those adult-only events that mean lining up childcare. Now is the time to examine your calendar because if needed, you can still make adjustments.

Surface Surprise Commitments

How often have you scrambled to buy a last-minute gift or rescheduled meetings for an event you weren’t aware of? Worse, how often have you begged a friend or neighbor for a last-minute playdate to get childcare help?

We’ve all been there. Unexpected commitments are even worse than having too many. So, the first part of setting up this season for more ease is to illuminate what’s on your schedule. Then you can then reduce the workload.

Here are a few examples:

Does your employer (or any of the volunteer organizations you are part of) have a holiday gathering? If you’re not sure, send a message to someone who would know (today) so it’s not a surprise expectation.
If you are partnered, ask if they have any holiday or other events, that require your presence in the next 8 weeks.
Have you previously attended an annual event, that you haven’t seen an invitation for? If so, get in touch with the organizer to rule it in or out for this year.

Strategically Trim In-Person Activities

Seeing people in real life is delightful. Especially when they’re people you love to spend time with. Or when you have an opportunity to make new connections that are helpful to your professional goals. But in-person events, parties and gatherings, generally require more energy and time. So, it’s a great place to streamline through the busy season.

Set a limit on how many events (social or professional) you’re willing to attend each week. For example, many years ago I set a limit on evening commitments. I rarely attend events at night, but when I do, it’s no more than two times per week.
Are there any commitments on the calendar that make you feel dread? You know, when just thinking about attending creates stress? If so, consider politely declining. If that’s not possible, plan to leave early after a brief showing.

Clarity about what you have to do and when, makes the rest of the planning easier. You don’t have to attend every event you’re invited to. If you already feel stressed about too many commitments, drop some or all of them.

Budget for Anticipated Seasonal Expenses

Holiday expenses extend way beyond gifts. The economy remains wobbly so, the financial pressure to do more traveling, merry-making, and celebrating weighs heavily on a lot of people. You can take a more minimalist approach and create a high-level budget on what you’d like to spend this season, from gifts to local parking and host presents.

If you’re partnered, get aligned on spending goals with your partner. When I interviewed Aja Evans, a financial therapist who works with couples, she encouraged proactive alignment. “Think about your values and what’s important to you, then about what you want to accomplish as a couple and family. Be really open in those conversations.”

And Protect Your Self-Care Time

Times of increased stress, call for more self-care. Those restorative practices at the top of the Mom’s Hierarchy of Needs, that strengthen your mental, physical and emotional health. Build up your wellbeing to reduce the strain through busy seasons.

Remember when I asked you to scan your calendar? Do any commitments clash with your regular self-care routines? Whether that’s exercise, time with friends, sleep or therapy, protect your space. If it means moving a commitment, do it. If that’s not possible, you may have to reschedule or otherwise shift things to prioritize your self-care.

The holidays bring up a lot of emotions. So, prepare to give yourself as much space as possible over the next couple of months, and set your intention on joy! Not only as an ideal, but as protected space on your calendar.

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Enjoy the gift of more time for you. Self-care support, app & packages for Moms.