Even if you’re not drawn to the idea of leadership right away, life can change that. You’ll see problems that need solving, like vexing, outdated systems or brilliant concepts only you can bring to life. Leadership doesn’t only mean managing people. It means you’re fully owning and using your influence. Managing teams, projects, ideas, processes, or being the ‘go to’ source of inspiration and action, are all flavors of leading.
Whether it’s your parent teacher organization, employee resource group, corporate team or start-up, you were born to do this. And developing your leadership style to honor your gifts, will change your life. Wherever you are on this journey, from ‘thinking about it’ to upgrading how you do it or making it more sustainable for your health, you probably need new knowledge to get from where you are today.
Some of that recalibration is internal. Like learning to manage your energy, use your voice, mentor, guide, or amplify others. However, there are also functional skills you night need. Like developing an inclusive team and culture, choosing an operational structure for your business, or adapting your personal brand and professional network.
There are lots of ways to learn and become fluent in new emotional or technical competencies. It’s iterative, messy, and sometimes frustratingly slow. So, be patient with yourself as you build capacity in unfamiliar areas of your life and career. Predictably, I’m going to recommend books for the deep self-paced learning, that suits the dynamic nature of growing your career, raising a family and navigating expectations for yourself and others.
I’ve had the pleasure of interviewing incredible moms in leadership who share their wisdom in stunning books.
Manage “Manager Burnout”
“You may be working on a high-profile initiative, or in a high potential program, and have to deliver more and more. If so, take respite where you can. For example, ask yourself ‘what do my weekends look like? What do my after-work hours look like?’ We fool ourselves into believing that we have to go, go, go 24/7. Because to be clear, the world is hitting us with requests 24/7.” Daisy Auger-Domínguez, Author of Inclusion Revolution and From Burned Out to Lit Up: How to Reignite the Joy of Leading People.
Read the full interview with Daisy: Recover From Burnout and Refuel as a Leader
Disrupt the Gendered Divide in Leadership
“After becoming a mother, I didn’t have the energy for stuff I would make excuses about before. So, I began to whittle away all of the b.s. in my life. That included people but it was also places and the programming. Turning 40 was another breaking point for me and this phrase kept coming to me, I will no longer abandon myself in service to others.” Erin Gallagher, author of Hype Women: Breaking Free From Mean Girls, Patriarchy and Systems Silencing You.
Read the full interview with Erin: Moms, Feeling Left Out of Economic Growth? Let’s Build and Hype Our Own
Unmute Yourself
“For me, voice is not only the words that we say. Fundamentally it’s, ‘do I get to be who I am?’ Whereas silence of course means, ‘I don’t. Or I have to edit out parts of myself to be accepted’ in order to stay in this relationship or organization. … It’s asking yourself, what does leadership look like? And whichever approach you take, there is no judgment, because it is about how you move through the world.” Elaine Lin Herring, author of Unlearning Silence, How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Talent and Live More Fully.
Read the full interview with Elaine: Learn to Speak Your Truth And Heal From Being Unseen
Start That Business You’re Dreaming Of
“The unique thing has been educating therapists of color, to see having a private practice is a viable option. It goes back to how we’re accruing wealth. When the ‘house always wins’ how do we change that mentality and think about our own ownership?” Dr. Charmain Jackman, author of the The Black Therapist’s Guide to Private Practice and Entrepreneurship
Read the full interview with Charmain: How to Create Room for Yourself and Entrepreneurship When Starting a Business
Play Your Way to Impactful Leadership
“When I introduced play as a facilitator, it neutralized the power dynamics. And it created a sense of psychological safety so everybody could participate in a more holistic and honest way. And that was when the light bulb went off for me. Play helps us create a sense of emotional openness. Just like the way my children play, it creates alternative rules and lowers the stakes for risk taking,” said Jyoti Jani. Author Creating Culture: Empowered Leadership For Systems Change
Read the full interview with Jyoti: Use Play as a Leader to Create More Fulfillment at Work
Escape the Gaslight
“If you’re told ‘keep killing it, you’re doing great, keep doing what you’re doing’ but it’s been three years and you’re still not promoted. And no one’s giving you any guidance. Or if you’re not treated in a fair and equitable manner, given your talents and expertise, it’s time to walk out the door. And find a place that will recognize your value.” Mita Mallik, Author Reimagine Inclusion: Debunking 13 Myths to Transform the Workplace, and The Devil Emails at Midnight.
Read the full interview with Mita: It’s Not You, It’s Them. Trust Yourself and Demand Better from Work
Build Authentic Connections as an Introvert
“…At first I thought I was in the wrong job, it was very stressful and male dominated. Then, after changing jobs, I thought ‘well it must be (that I’m in) the wrong country and I moved to Europe!’ Then, I considered perhaps I was in the wrong line of work. It turns out, I love my line of work. …It took an a-ha moment to realize the panic attacks and unhappiness that prompted me to keep quitting jobs was about how I was doing the work. I didn’t want office politics or the BS. The environment over stimulated me. I wanted to work from home.” Morra Aarons-Mele, Author, Hiding In the Bathroom: An Introvert’s Roadmap To Getting Out There (When You’d Rather Stay Home) and The Anxious Achiever.
Read the full interview with Morra: Don’t Hide In the Bathroom! How To Build Your Network & Control Your Destiny
Get Strategic About Your Network
“It’s all about the relationships, starting with one relationship at a time. And the strategic networking part, is really about having a plan, vision, and creating the solution to get you there. …You have to have the mindset of, ‘I want to change, I want to learn and I’m going to do the work. Even when it’s hard.’ Because any change, whether it’s organizational or personal, takes sustained effort. Change management people debate whether it’s 21 days, or longer, to have meaningful sustained change. But it’s the sustained part that’s important.” Juliette Meyer, Author, Strategic Networking 2.0: Harness the Power of Connection and Inclusion for Business Success.
Read the full interview with Juliette: Do Your Professional Dreams Feel Farther Away? It’s Time to Get Strategic with Your Network
Eliminate Busy Work
“One person said, ‘I was at the office last night until 11 and my boss didn’t tell me what to do. So, I just stood at the copy machine and made blank copies to look busy.’ People are dying from overwork! And it’s not like all of that overwork is making people more productive, creative, or earning them more money. It’s just making them miserable. And that’s a huge lesson we can learn from.” Brigid Schulte, Author Overwork: Transforming the Daily Grind Into a Quest for a Better Life.
Read the full interview with Brigid: Employers, Healthier Work Culture is Achievable With Greater Clarity and Less Waste
Craft Your Career Growth Plan of Action
“When Mothers are struggling in the workplace, they have to ask themselves, ‘what do I have control of and what can I bring to bear?’ How can I make systems changes in the workplace? And do I have the right people on my personal board of directors, such as mentors, sponsors and coaches, who ‘get’ the work of mothers?” Dr. Lynn Perry Wooten, co-author “Arrive and Thrive: 7 Impactful Practices for Women Navigating Leadership,” and “The Prepared Leader: Emerge from Any Crisis More Resilient Than Before”
Read the full interview with Lynn: Develop your Holistic Strategy to Overcome Obstacles to Workplace Power
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📚 Buy the new book, Repair with Self-Care: Your Guide to the Mom’s Hierarchy of Needs.
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