Too Busy to be Tired? Perhaps it's Time to Revisit Your Boundaries

We understand boundaries are vital for our health and happiness. Yet, the undertow we feel, from our schedules and the people around us, tends to discourage setting or keeping them. Everyone likes to hear ‘yes’ and as the demands on our time become more pressing, it can feel harder and harder to say no.

Even the most seasoned boundary setters among us, have difficulty doing so at times. Especially in settings where we lack psychological safety or social power. Or when the situation itself, like the person making the request or nature of what’s being asked, triggers our reluctance to preserve our time.

We’re in yet another busy season. So, here’s a little inspiration on boundaries to consider, set or keep, from interviews with boundary-setting-genius Moms. Sometimes, we just need support to trim our workloads. And persevere with our priorities and desires.

Limit Social Events

“As children get older, they need you in very different ways, and that is very apparent to me right now. My 8-year-old doesn’t need me to give him a bath anymore, brush his teeth or even read him a book, but he needs time with me every single day to talk about his day. So, I’ve started saying no to evening activities a lot more.” Hitha Palepu, Pharmaceutical Leader, Author, Speaker, and Entrepreneur. Manage Your Energy And Creativity Across a Portfolio of Career Interests

Share the Workload With Family

“Sometimes Moms have to bite the bullet and confront the people closest to them with what they need. If you’ve got family, until they tell you no, lean into them. My younger son is 27 now and finally I said to him, ‘does it ever occur to you that I need help with your brother?’ And you know, he gave me this look. Like, ‘oh I thought that was your job.’ So, we have to start teaching our children, especially our sons, to shoulder family responsibilities. I had to put my foot down and say, ‘if you want to live in this intergenerational household, you’re going to have to help me.’ Because I’m not going to keep doing it all…” Chandra White-Cummings, Educator, Writer, and Social Justice Advocate. How to Navigate Special Needs Parenting With Self-Care and Faith

Honor Boundaries in the Workplace

“Even in the most strenuous moments, there are still ways that we can protect our hearts and our minds. We can create many boundaries, even if it’s not every boundary. When we establish boundaries for ourselves, we tell the world that we that we matter and tell others, they matter too. If you’re a leader and manager modeling that, allows your team to safeguard themselves.” Daisy Auger-Domínguez, Author, Speaker and Human Resources Executive. Recover From Burnout and Refuel as a Leader

Insist Upon Equitable Time Choice If Partnered

“My husband had four hours after our kids went to bed to do whatever he wanted. And so, I sat down with him and said, ‘I want the time choice you have. And maybe that means less time choice for you and more time choice for me. You may get three hours of unencumbered time and I get one back. It doesn’t have to be 50/50 but this time choice thing is not okay. And it’s going to break us.’ We both just get 24 hours in a day.” Eve Rodsky, Entrepreneur & New York Times Best Selling-Author. Free Yourself from the Soul-Crushing Disputes About Who Does What

Preserve Time for Your Career or Interests

“My parents are immigrants from India and the version of Motherhood that was modeled for me growing up was always, mother as martyr. That Motherhood was sacrifice. And if you had the luxury of choosing to become a Mother, then ultimately, the only way to do it well was to give everything up for your kids. And I knew I wouldn’t be happy in that. My career has always been really important for me and a huge part of my identity.” Dr. Pooja Lakshmin, Clinical Psychiatrist, Professor, Author and Entrepreneur. It’s Time to Give Yourself Permission for Real Self-Care.

Maintain Your Self-Care Routines

“I had a boss who would say, ‘oh you have time for exercise.’ As if my taking time for exercise was a luxury that a ‘hard working and hard driving’ executive should not have. And I went through a period where I didn’t know that I have to prioritize myself. I think too often we force ourselves to stay the course. …At the time, I made a very conscious decision, ‘I’m not the one who’s crazy here’ because I feel really good when I exercise. And I bring more to the table when my mind is sharp and I’m not over tired. So, I rejected all of it, but it took time, because initially I was on the outside of the leadership team. And you know what? I realized I was okay being on the outside.” Juliette Mayers, Author, Podcast Host and Diversity, Equity and Inclusion Strategist. Disrupt Martyrdom to Get More of What you Want From Your Career

Be Selective About Volunteering

“I created a network early on by getting involved with community organizations, local politics, and boards. Then, I had my daughter and that changed everything. And I didn’t plan for it to be that way, I expected a shift, but not of that magnitude. So, I dropped everything I was doing, in terms of board engagement and volunteering. Because I wanted to focus on this girl, going to work, and coming back home. But I knew that was going to be a moment in time.” Carmen Arce, Diversity, Equity and Inclusion Leader. Embrace the Freedom to Establish Yourself in a New Setting

Protect Family Bonding Time

“I treasure dinner time. Part of that is being in adolescent medicine and knowing that if you eat with your young personthen you can talk about things and have an eye on them. So, we have dinner at 7 pm because my husband likes to work late, and he can get be home by then. So, we’ve decided nothing can be scheduled at that time unless it’s an absolute emergency. That’s our time to sit as a family, eat, and be present with each other.” Dr. Sophia Yen, Physician, professor in Adolescent Medicine and Maternal and Child Health Expert. Make Self-Care Fit Despite a Collection of Career Interests

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