“…Checking in on being judgmental with myself, others, or circumstances. Crafts with my kids. Appreciating/not taking for granted the people in my life.”
“We have all gained a bigger appreciation for the small things. … I’m also more grateful for our home, our health, living together under one roof again (our boys are in college and at boarding schools).”
“Doing less things day to day.”
Over 2,500 parents, mostly Moms (98%) have anonymously shared the pandemic’s impact in our research study. On everything from their work, health, and priorities, to their routines and relationships. Overall, it’s been rough. Across each wave of the study, stress levels are way up and time for self-care remains way down.
But after 20 months of crisis living, through havoc and loss, there are encouraging signs. From the pent-up demand to adopt dogs and buy fitness equipment to the great resignation. The pandemic has unleashed something remarkable. And unstoppable.
After seeing so many people die, no one wants to wait to live fully anymore. So, there’s a transformation underway. From a reluctant acceptance of the status quo to believing in a life with more fulfillment. When asked, “What new things are you doing in the current situation that you hope to keep doing?” Most surveyed parents cited at least one positive change. Including the subtle and big shifts in how they spend their time, that they intend to keep. And celebrate.
Are you still craving more or better? It’s possible. And it doesn’t have to happen all at once. Nor do you have to do it alone. So, if you need a little inspiration on where to start, enjoy cues from the biggest positive trends to date.
Bring Back Play
“Game night with a group of friends every Saturday night.”
“Family movie night, play dates with my best friend and her sons.”
“Hugging my kids throughout the day, snacking too much, jumping on trampoline. More time with the kids.”
“Going outside with my children even in the snow. Playing with them in more intentional ways.”
“More quality time as a family, crafts, creative play, themed days with food and activities, pillow forts, hammock snuggles.”
Find Your Inner Creative
“I am doing more crafting and leisure, as a form of self-preservation, so hopefully I can solidify that into long term habits.”
“Nothing new. I am devoting a lot of time to my hobbies: sketching, painting, knitting, sewing. I am giving myself permission to be the true artist that I sometimes silence in normal times.”
“Writing poetry every single day. Spending less money on things (besides food), tending to home-improvement updates.”
“Hobbies after kids’ bedtime. Spending time with my sewing machine (making mostly masks for the family)”
Bridge the Distance with Loved Ones
“A new thing I’m doing is Zoom/Facetime calls with far away friends; I hope to continue this.”
“Connecting remotely with friends and family far away more often.”
“I actually have enjoyed Zoom family get together with relatives that are far away. Why didn’t we do this before??”
“I want to keep talking to my mom as often and visiting her biweekly.”
Nurture Mental Health
“(I) make time for myself, self-care.”
“Mental Health therapy sessions, more quality time with my family.”
“Began running and trying to exercise more as a way to deal with stress.”
“Exercise; taking mental health days.”
“Clonazepam.”
“I have committed myself to walking the dog 3-4 miles every day to keep my sanity and keep my weight down.”
“Taking more baths, reading, journaling, giving myself space to grieve and process…”
“I joined AA via Zoom. I plan to continue that.”
Rediscover Movement
“Daily walks and eating healthy, lost baby weight.”
“Exercising every day, eating breakfast together as a family.”
“Going for walks or peloton midday, dinner as a family.”
“Keep cooking. Keep working from home. Keep exercising. Keep using my treadmill desk.”
Ease the To-Do List
“Grocery pickup – why didn’t this exist when my kids were babies? People wearing masks during flu season.”
“Grocery delivery, meal box shipment.”
“I’m hoping telehealth will stay a thing.”
Work Flexibly
“I love the ability to work remotely, and the ability to work reduced hours. That part has been far less stressful than normal.”
“I will only travel if absolutely essential. I will only work for employers who provide flexible schedules and remote work options.”
“3 pm end (to the) workday instead of 5.”
“Being able to telework with my child at home when I want him there and not feeling guilty about it.”
“I like being able to telework and spend more time with my family. I am hoping to be able to continue to telework after we open and my kids go back to school and daycare. …I get more done….”
“Hopefully find a remote job to work at home so can continue to be with my family more”
Find Inner Freedom
“…Being creative about what I can do. Thinking outside the box for solutions.”
“Eating better, trying to be ‘in the moment’ more. Setting stronger and clearer boundaries, being more proactive than reactive.”
“…Letting people know when I want to get off a call…before it seemed impolite. Now people don’t think anything of it. I am also wayyyy more confident in raising my son. I trust my instincts more now and we have a newfound respect/relationship with each other.”
“Cooking more, reading more, being more relaxed about typical mom-life things…”
Live with Gratitude
“Appreciating my time at home instead of always being away from home shopping etc.”
“Appreciating what I have.”
“…I’m tracking the little things I’m grateful for and becoming more present when observing them.”
Protect Family Time
“Deliberately planning family time. Doing meal prep so that dinners are easy each night.”
“Being home for dinner every night.”
“Being more closely involved with the kids’ learning.”
“Building a bond with my children over experiments they find on YouTube.”
“Cooking and having wonderful family meals, playing family games, and riding bikes together.”
“Focusing on family and sleeping more.”
Schedule Less
“Creating new traditions with kids, spending more quality time, not scheduling so many things.”
“Husband WFH, utilizing the playground, slower life speed in general.”
“I have taken over managing our finances which is better. Things have been slower and more simplified. I would like to keep it this way and not over complicate our time with trying to do too much.”
“I have had fewer ‘coffee get-to-know-yous’ and that has freed up my schedule and mental load a bit!”
“I have taken over managing our finances which is better. Things have been slower and more simplified. I would like to keep it this way and not over complicate our time with trying to do too much.”
Nest at Home More
“Being home more, taking breaks from technology, getting outside…”
“Household organization projects and using more recycled/found objects to build with.”
“Completing projects that were started but never seemed to get done. We finally got several things completed.”
“Cleaning the house more thoroughly and frequently.”
“Cooking and baking more. Drinking less. Family movie nights.”
“Cooking different things, (getting) produce delivery, spending more time outside.”
“I’m better at pantry meals and my kids wash their hands more.”
“Gardening and preserving food, scheduling specific days for creating art and for quality time with my daughter, allowing extra personal space, cooperating with a friend regarding homeschooling our kids together…”
Deepen Family Bonds
“Carving out more dedicated time to spend with my toddler during the work week.”
“Eating dinner together. (My) oldest making pancakes for breakfast on Saturdays, reading scripture together, hiking at least once a month.”
“Being more patient with my kids.”
“Drinking water. Having real conversations with my kids.”
“Being present with my kids.”
“Better communication with my husband and son.”
“Couch date nights with husband.”
Share the Household as a Team
“The current balance of chores and childcare between my husband and myself (bathtime, bedtime, making meals, trash, cleaning, etc.) As I would insist on doing more before, but i think it benefits the entire family when we all work as a team toward common goals.”
“Sleeping in more, working together on household chores.”
Make New Connections
“(I’ve) engaged with people on a deeper level.”
“Maintaining a realtime feedback loop with colleagues as well as partner to set work/life expectations.”
“Dating.”
Learn New Things
“I am learning a new language, and I want to continue with that.”
“Day trading.”
“Building skills to be my own boss.”
“Furthering my education.”
“Learning about opening my own business and taking on my own clients.”
“….spend more time thinking creatively about my business (vs. just scaling what is working.)”
Reconnect to Spirituality & Mindfulness
“Having church watching you tube sermons, spending less money on going out to eat.”
“Meditation and prayer.”
“My food ministry and online streaming of children’s church”
“Work from home, take time to slow down, minimalism, prayer.”
Be of Service & Advocate for Change
“Continue to be vocal against my family’s extreme beliefs.”
“Continue to examine the world, how its structured and how we could change it.”
“I have been trying to help the homeless community more with care packages. And would like to do more of that when I have more money.”
Whether you are struggling with exhaustion, a professional reset or experiencing post-traumatic growth, tune into the lessons. If you’ve started to move towards greater fulfillment, peace or clarity, keep your momentum. There may be days that feel like you’re sifting through the rubble for diamonds. But it’s okay to feel tested and even drained. Don’t let it deter you from what you need and want for your life. As one surveyed Mom shared, “… The normal we had before will not return ever. What we will have will be informed by this. I am not doing anything new, just have more time to do what I love.”
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Super grateful to the many amazing parents who have participated in the research study. Have you chimed in yet? Share your pandemic experiences! How are the latest changes affecting your life? It’s quick and the results from this study are used to advocate better support for parents.
Employers, let us help you transform your workplace into an environment where caregivers thrive. Learn about Allies @ Work.
Tags: health and wellbeing for Moms, Manage Stress For Moms, mental wellbeing for parents, Moms Personal Growth, Moms Self care, Self-Fulfillment, stress management
