“There is the act of ‘hype’ itself but also the audit of who you’re surrounding yourself with that allows you to be a ‘Hype Woman.’ And I had to ask myself whether or not the people in my life, were still the right people for me,” said Erin Gallagher, Author, Entrepreneur and Hype Woman.
Erin has been on a quest to make lasting, professional growth more accessible and enjoyable. Shifting the entrenched success story, from one of “bootstraps” and individualism to something richer, and more realistic for women. Building through ‘hype’ is intentional, active and more sustainable. So, how do you build momentum for yourself and others differently?
Choose People Who Cheer You On
Macro level support for moms, is uneven at best, whether that’s better health, wealth or wellness outcomes. Many of the world’s largest organizations, funds and accelerators have quietly closed their equity and inclusion doors.
However, the spark to light better options for women, remains alive within all of us. As a group, we’re powerful. During part one of our interview, we discussed that although our economy doesn’t exactly favor mothers, hype is a powerful disruptor.
See the Obstacles to Your Growth Goals
Even when you promise yourself to honor your calling, it’s rarely straightforward. There are many tradeoffs and they’re not only emotional. They may be financial too. And although our skills increase each year, our discretionary time shrinks when we’re on point for most childcare and household needs.
Mothers face escalating work/life complexity precisely when nuanced, time sensitive investments are necessary in our health and careers. Like building a personal brand, strength training or boosting college and retirement savings. So, how do we resist the default?
Audit Your Circle
Erin’s book, Hype Women: Breaking Free From Mean Girls, Patriarchy and Systems Silencing You is a guide to make space for personal and professional transformation. To “hype” others and receive more visibility, isn’t just about your time it’s also about mindset and finding community.
She said, “Part of my what I have gone through in the past five years is to audit my own circle of family, friends, and professional and connections. I asked myself, ‘what happens when I’m in this person’s presence?’ ‘How do they make me feel?’ and ‘what do I see when I watch them engage in the world?’ Because your time and energy are finite.”
Preserve Your Energy
The people in our lives have an outsized impact on our happiness, learning, health and even our habits. Erin explained, “Time and energy are not replaceable or transferable so, those are the two things you have to protect. If you spend time and energy on people that suck your life force, are not pouring back into you or who fill you with toxicity, it’s a vicious cycle.”
The sections in the book are structured to help you stage your own metamorphosis. After describing her experiences with isolation and exhaustion after her first child was born, in chapter 4 she explains the first step to “escape solitary confinement” is to “find community.”
Ask Yourself, What’s Working?
Erin explained, “Investigate your daily habits, rituals, and traditions. And then the most important question to ask yourself is, ‘is it still working?’ When you think about things you do every day, people that you come in contact with, places you give your energy and time, is it still working for you?”
We all reach points in our careers, parenting, and relationships, where we have to reevaluate our approach and outcomes. Especially when they are in conflict with our values and desires. She added, “when I asked myself those questions a few years ago, I had a lot of “no’s” so, I needed to shift to what’s working now.”
Identify What You Need
I asked Erin how performing ‘the relationship audit’ has felt. She said, “the audit is a hard exercise in the moment because you have to admit, people are not always who you thought they were. But you also want to show, you’re not who you used to be. If we’re doing this life thing right, we should be evolving and growing. There are people who will evolve and grow with us and there are relationships we will grow out of.”
Match Your Communities to Your Growth Goals
Are you seeking your promotional path in a traditional industry? Eager to change your role or work setting altogether? Perhaps you’re building a business, writing a book or expanding a mature venture?
We always receive advice to nurture professional networks, because it’s super important. However, depending on the network there are still hidden rules that can feel sticky. Especially when it comes to asking for help. Unless it’s help for your children or nonprofit fundraiser, the norms are murky at best. In part because women are socialized to be humble, accommodating, and generous. Without self-promoting. So where do you find that camaraderie to grow?
Curate Your Support Networks
The beauty is, we have more community options than ever. There are many groups catering to women at varying levels of seniority and leadership. In addition to those in traditional spaces like industry associations and alumni networks.
Here’s the thing, not every community will meet all your needs, but you can vet the environment and experiment. Measure whether it feels good to be in the group and if you receive a return on your time.
Vet Your Community Options
Here’s a list of considerations when choosing a community. It doesn’t matter if it’s with other moms or parents, women, or people within your industry or interest group. If you’re seeking a purpose aligned group for mutual advancement, it helps to look closely at the community structure:
- Is the community actively managed?
- Is there a ‘code of conduct’, formally or informally for safety, quality and privacy?
- Can you share what’s on your mind, whether it’s personal or professional?
- Do you feel supported or ‘ghosted’ when you reach out for help?
- Can you build upon continuity of contact?
- Can you be yourself?
- How are people treated if they show vulnerability?
- Are you able to both give and receive support?
- Is it hybrid, remote or in person, and how do those modalities serve your needs?
Activate Your Strategy and Yes, it Can Change
Hype Women, was a community-led movement and dinner series before it became a book. Which is how I had the good fortune to meet Erin during her dinner in Boston last year. She’s decided that one great meal isn’t enough and has expanded her meaningful conversation series to include an online community.
What does it mean to be part of a community? It’s defined in a myriad of ways, and most definitions include shared geography. But I like to think of community as a group of people with shared interests. And who engage in psychologically safe and reciprocal relationships. Many of us are there, formally or informally with friendships, career networks, neighbors, and professional circles but they’re often in different containers, with unique rules.
Go on, find your space! One where you are celebrated, supported and encouraged to grow and learn.
Many thanks to the talented Erin Gallagher!
Buy Erin’s amazing new book, Hype Women: Breaking Free From Mean Girls, Patriarchy and Systems Silencing You. Learn about her new Salon Dinner Series and Hype Women Community. Learn more on her website, and follow her great adventure on Substack, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram.
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About Erin Gallagher:
Erin is the CEO + Founder of Ella (an inclusive network unlocking women’s access to human, social and financial capital), the Founder of the Hype Women Movement and Host of the Hype Women Podcast.
She brings 20 years experience leading global marketing, business development, media relations, branding, communications and organizational and culture change to the many roles she currently plays: small business owner, disruptor, entrepreneur, system-challenger and mother to two young boys.
She was named a 2023 Top 100 LinkedIn Creator and Top 10 DEI Voice (#5) and penned one of the Top 100 Most Influential LinkedIn Posts of the Decade. Erin has counseled The White House and C-suite and senior leaders at some of the world’s biggest and best brands and companies — from LinkedIn to United Airlines to Carhartt to McDonald’s, to name a few.
Through her work forging relationships with change makers and leaders who believe in the power of diversity, equity, inclusion and access, Erin has become (as one Global CMO so succinctly put it) “the not-so-secret weapon so many leaders count on to drive real change…she knows everyone.” Erin is the creator of The Fairway (Dinners, Membership and App): inclusive, intersectional, intimate spaces where every woman has a seat to give and get business.
