How do you Know if You're Stunting Your Own Career Growth?

“How do I know if I’m protecting myself from burnout, versus stunting my career growth?” This question came in during a lively onsite Q&A session with the parent employee resource group for one of my clients. And it’s not exactly a new theme. In the past year, versions of this question have surfaced more often from moms and dads, and it’s one we often ask ourselves. Is it the rocky economy? Relentless to-do lists? Or identity crisis reconciling career aspirations with the nitty gritty of parenting?

In the recent wave of our post-pandemic parent study, 87% of moms admit, ‘dialing back’ their career ambition to make logistics of their lives work. Navigating career sustainability, while raising kids and trying (desperately) to maintain self-care, remains a hot topic. Of course, there isn’t one “right answer” because even if you are pursuing your “right path” for right now, the twists, turns and tradeoffs, rarely feel good in real time. So how can you answer this question for yourself, and reflect in ways that are instructive?

Expand Your View on What ‘Growth’ Means

Growth isn’t only about compensation, title, or increased professional responsibilities. It includes your personal learning, fulfillment, relationships, parenting mastery, and self-understanding. It’s also the integration of each facet, when things in our lives change.

You might learn to play violin, coach little league, dance salsa, or speak in public with authority. It all signals growth and doesn’t have to map directly to your professional life. However, with most feeling the ill effects of inflation and spiraling cost of living, many are choosing career upgrades and diversification by necessity.

Decide What You’re Trying to Do with Your Career

Are you trying to keep your current finances steady or “beat financial odds” over time? If it’s the latter and you want your children (and theirs) on a new wealth trajectory, then you will need energy and support to push in your career. Perhaps in concert with other investments strengthen your long-term outlook. If your career feels at risk, because of your industry, workplace culture or manager, then get proactive about what’s in your best interests.

Give Yourself a Personal Performance Review At least Twice a Year

If you feel professionally stuck, why is that? If you don’t feel positive momentum in your knowledge, professional development, stability, compensation, recognition, or network, then you may want to make adjustments. However, it’s also important to think about tradeoffs you’d experience by doing so. Especially in your roles as a parent and, if partnered, as a spouse, and possibly as a caregiver to adults. Not to mention community involvement and friendships.

If You’re Pausing Career Growth, What’s Your Focus?

The good news, you can determine this for yourself, provided it aligns with your financial and practical realities. Although I’m not referring to a career pause, that may be a viable option or desire. If you want to stay in a professional holding pattern within your current role because, your kids need more support, parent’s health feels fragile or you’re managing an illness, then give yourself the gift of focus. Reevaluate in 3 to 6 months. Because it’s wise to manage your energy and time, especially if you have the financial space, benefits, psychological safety and workplace support to do so.

You Can Choose Growth, Without Apology

Mothers don’t typically have clear trajectories into leadership. Unless we’re talking about parent teacher associations or meal trains and these are important roles. However, when trying to improve financial or career stability in the paid workforce, we’re still on the wrong end of gendered wage, funding and leadership gaps. According to the World Economic Forum, it’ll take 135 years to reach global economic parity for women. So, achieving ‘atypical’ results, isn’t easy in most traditional work spaces. And those who ascend, often go to extraordinary lengths to do so. But there are interventions that help.

Add Allies to Your Professional Village

Yes, we need our mentors, “spiritual friends”, colleagues and collaborators but we also need allies and sponsors. That’s not only other women in your circle. Men still hold the overwhelming majority of senior leadership positions, and can provide career visibility, introductions, opportunities and insights.

At the Work Family Research Network’s annual conference, Dr. David Smith spoke about his latest book co-authored with Dr. Brad Johnson. “In ‘Good Guys’ we said gender equity starts at home, and makes a difference with your partners and children, then extends into the workplace. Fair Share, is about, what it looks like to be an ally and how to progress to more publicly advocate, confront and disrupt in the workplace.”

Curate and Expand Your Network

If you’re in a traditional industry or role and happy with the organization then focus on building deeper relationships and to make sure your work is visible. As Alli Young previously shared, “If you’re happy in your career and you don’t want to make changes, network once a week for 20 to 30 minutes. But if you want to make a change, like a promotion, its two or three times a week. Maybe even four.” Invest the time in creating a network internally. In addition to nurturing a diverse, warm network externally.

Nurture and Build Upon Those Relationships

Yes, it takes effort but it’s also been shown to deliver a much higher return on your time. We often struggle when it comes to networking follow up, appropriate frequency and working from a cohesive strategy. Juliette Mayers Executive Coach, Diversity Expert and Author of Strategic Networking 2.0, recommends grouping your connections. She said, “The three tiers that I outline in my book are: your inner circle contacts, high value contacts and moderate value contacts. And I define those so you can sort them according to the degree of trust and a number of other dimensions. You can look at your relationships through this prism and develop strategies for each of them.”

If Work Feels Unstable, Prioritize the Time for Better Options

If you don’t feel like you’re in a secure place professionally because of challenges within your industry or because you cannot stand your job or manager, then follow your instincts. Accelerate your pace for a transition and evaluate your financial readiness if you need to move quickly.

It helps to schedule the time you need to plan and move forward. Whether that’s starting, or ending your days with 30 to 45 extra minutes for outreach and follow up. In addition to making space for virtual or in person coffee chats, just know time spent on relationships will outweigh the hard, and often stressful work of cold outreach.

Reinvest in Self-Care

We can’t dial back on health. There is no “set it and forget it” option when it comes to preventative care. Like regular screenings, or daily rituals for exercise, sleep or mental health. So, if you struggle with the basic health guidance, put your focus there. Even if that means trading off career growth for now.

The next title, paycheck, or position that creates more freedom and ease, won’t compensate for a health hit. Behavioral health practices, like those “top of the hierarchy” activities have both short and long-term implications, especially for women. You also need that reservoir of wellbeing to draw from for sustained resilience in your work and life.

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Enjoy the gift of more time for wellbeing and growth. Plus delightful self-care packages for Moms, delivered to your door.