“The vision is to have comprehensive care. And not only provide medical care but services to care for Mothers in a more complete way, not just in pregnancy, but postpartum. So, that is what I hope for. But until then, what they can do on an individual basis, is get as much support in place as possible. So, they can rely on that support to have more time for baby care and rest,” Dr. Monique Rainford, Obstetrician and Gynecologist, Author, and Professor.
There are so many nuances to the crises that impact wellbeing for Mothers. As we all try to navigate healthy and fulfilling lives, it’s impossible to ignore how the systems we live and work in, shape our options. Or that not everyone has the same outcomes, especially in the US, where we lack basic public policy supports for parents.
Monique explained, “I learned about the disparities for Black Mothers in medical school many years ago. At that time, they told me it was related to poverty. But it did not make sense to me.” After learning the reasons for the health disparities Black Mothers in the US experience, Monique gave a TEDx Talk about the topic before writing, Pregnant While Black.
There are promising advances in legislation. Like the Pregnant Workers Fairness Act and expansion of postpartum Medicaid coverage, in most states, to 12 months. There’s also increased interest in the Momnibus Act, which takes a more holistic view of support for Moms in vulnerable populations. But repairing the healthcare system will take time. Monique shares how Moms can actively seek help. And build structure to not only ease their pregnancy path, but flourish, in that first year.
Resist the Postpartum To-Do List
It’s tempting for new Moms to believe they can or should tackle everything at home. Because when expecting their first baby, they imagine having ‘plenty of time.’ But of course, time with a baby is nothing like that. Especially if you’re breastfeeding, trying to adhere to a rigid productivity schedule, can lead to guilt, exhaustion, or both. So, it’s ideal to have your time, mental and physical energy concentrated in ways that nurture your baby and healing. And you’ll need even more support when you return to work.
Be Proactive About Your Medical Appointments
We’re socialized to take care of others first. The book Pay Up cites a survey from Healthy Women and Working Mother magazine. It revealed that women prioritize health care appointments in the following order: 1. children, 2. Pets, 3. elder relatives, 4. significant other or spouse and then, 5. themselves. Although it’s probably not a surprise that we prioritize our children?s medical needs before our own, countless studies show, if we’re not healthy it’s bad for our kids.
And the window for pregnancy, and postpartum is special. So, give yourself extra self-compassion and pay attention to changes in your physical, mental, and emotional health. The mental health crisis, including the rise in anxiety and depression, is another threat to postpartum wellbeing.
Dial Up Your Support at Home
It doesn’t matter if your help is paid or unpaid, ideally you will receive both. If you’re partnered, sometimes, revisiting household norms and roles can lead to friction. But absolutely involve your partner in the meaningful work tied to every life transition and stage. And if it’s affordable, outsource liberally.
Monique said, “If you have the resources to pay for services, like finding someone to clean or cook for you, that’s great. Because it relieves you of those duties to focus on self-care and your baby, because those should be your priorities.”
Lean On Your Community
Outsourcing household work isn’t possible for everyone. But there are incredible ways to build a supportive network. Monique explains, “If you lack financial resources but happen to have a great community, Mothers whose children are older can help with sharing household duties. Like meals or, care for your older children. That community support is great, and you can set up those resources beforehand for help throughout your pregnancy and after.”
Organize Your Family or Friends
Yes, if you have a supportive family of origin, extended family, or circle of close friends, reach out to them. Think about how often you support others and give the people in your life ways to help. Monique said, “If you’re good at organizing, think about how to organize that support. If it’s family, have a steady stream of family stay with you for a few weeks, months or rotate visits on a regular basis.”
And if you’re not an organizer, someone you know can do it for you. Ask a trusted friend, sibling, or colleague, to help reduce the intensity over those early weeks and months.
Look to Local Programs and Groups
It’s not just physical health or energy, many Moms struggle to regain their mental and emotional wellbeing. Often because they’re completely overloaded. But there are incredible organizations providing local support. Even when friends, family, or neighbors aren’t an option. Monique said, “Sometimes those with limited resources, have limited resources in almost every way. And that is why we need systems in place to help as much as possible.”
So, consider every avenue when you know you need local help. That can include your healthcare provider, primary care doctor, local department of public health, or health insurance provider. And many larger employers provide parenting benefits and Employee Assistance Plans (EAP) to connect you with services.
Many thanks to the talented Dr. Monique Rainford MD!
Check out Monique’s book, Pregnant While Black: Advancing Justice for Maternal Health in America. Learn more about her work and other books on her website. And follow her great adventure on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram.
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About Dr. Monique Rainford:
Monique Rainford, M.D. is an Obstetrician and Gynecologist, Author, Public Speaker and Expert in Health Disparities Affecting Black Women in America.
She is a graduate of the University of Pennsylvania and Harvard Medical School where she has been recognized for her outstanding academic performance having been awarded the John Russwarm Award for Academic excellence and the Robert H. Ebert Award in Primary Care Medicine from each University respectively. She completed her residency in Obstetrics and Gynecology at Georgetown University Medical Center. She is a Diplomate of the American Board of Obstetrics and Gynecology and a Fellow of the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. She has served as the Center Medical Director for the Baltimore Medical System locations on the campus of St. Agnes Hospital and the Chief of Obstetrics and Gynecology at Yale Health. She currently serves as an Assistant Professor of Clinical Obstetrics, Gynecology and Reproductive Sciences at Yale University School on Medical in addition to women?s health consulting through her company WWELL INC. She will complete her MBA from Yale University in 2024.
In addition to practicing obstetrics and gynecology, Dr. Rainford has found many avenues to assist underserved communities through outreach programs and her connection with Rotary International. She has worked in many communities in the United States and Jamaica including, Washington DC, Fort Lauderdale, FL, Kingston, Jamaica and Baltimore, Maryland. She has also been on a medical mission to Honduras, Central America.
When she was in private practice in Jamaica, Dr. Rainford was very involved in the medical community and served as president of the Jamaica Menopause Society, the Jamaica Association for the Advancement of Midlife Health and was a volunteer colposcopist at the Jamaica Cancer Society. She was an active member of the Rotary Club of Kingston and served in leadership positions for many years.
With additional training in psychology, she also promotes Lifestyle Medicine and has counseled people on how to improve their health through their diet, exercise and relationships" She serves on the True Health Initiative Council of Directors. Dr. Rainford believes that Lifestyle Medicine is an essential component in the effort to eliminate health disparities.
She was a columnist for the Daily Gleaner, Jamaica?s largest daily newspaper and has been a relationship columnist for the South Florida Times. She has also published in the Journal of Reproductive Medicine and Menopause. She has had numerous public speaking appearances discussing the health disparities experienced by African American and other Black women in America and topics related to general women?s health and wellness. Her writing has appeared in multiple publications including the Hartford Courant, the Baltimore Sun, Afro, elephant journal, Medscape and Kevin MD" She has appeared in the media on multiple occasions both internationally and nationally including CBS Baltimore, ABC 2 Baltimore and the Maggie Linton Show on Sirius XM."She is a speaker for the Lifestyle Medicine Speakers Bureau and was a speaker at TEDxWilmington.
Dr. Rainford is the author of The Maternal Glow -A Jamaican Woman’s Guide to Pregnancy, Please God Send Me A Husband, and most recently Pregnant While Black.
She is happily married to Chester Ryan Bourne and they are the proud parents of Zane and Kia.
