Making dedicated time each day for movement.
Eating nutritious food, exercising regularly, meditation or journaling, getting enough sleep.
Getting sleep, exercise, alone time.
We’ve heard from over 3,700 parents, mostly Mothers (97%) since March of 2020 about their work/life, health, and wellness needs. Including, which activities make them feel like they’re caring for themselves. As they try to regain emotional and financial stability in an uneven climate, they want more support. And time for self-care.
Self-care as we measure it, time spent on activities at the top of the Mom’s Hierarchy of Needs, like stress management, sleep, movement, interests, and healthy adult relationships, is still lower than in spring of 2020. With 79% in our most recent survey wave, that began in January of 2023, citing doing terribly or not as well as usual.
Although it’s a small improvement from prior months, a little more self-care around the edges, is not enough. And nothing highlights the importance of health quite like surviving a pandemic.
Most, Want More Exercise
When asked, ‘which activities would you like to make a bigger part of your self-care regime this year’, movement was at the top (69%) of the list. Followed by more “me time” (63%) and sleep (62%.) Although the wellness industry tries to sell us on everything from flat abs to shiny hair, those things are not essential to our health. But sufficient movement and sleep is. And caring for our bodies, unlocks more mental and physical energy. As one surveyed Mom shared, “(I feel like I’m caring for myself) when I don’t feel exhausted.”
You Can Overcome the Barriers
The reality is, establishing health routines is more challenging for caregivers. And for Moms who are still more likely to own childcare and household responsibilities in most families, the barriers are real. Surveyed Moms cite the lack of childcare (56%) or money for memberships and classes (62%. ) Also, crushing amounts of housework (59%) and paid work (43%.) We hear about the internal barriers too, like guilt about not being available to their families (72%) or colleagues (32%,) as much as possible. But the case to make more time for our health cannot be overstated or ignored.
And Unlock a Longer Health Span
According to the World Economic Forum, women spend 25% more of their lives in debilitating health than men. Although the health gap for women isn’t new, we rarely hear about the health span implications. We’re at greater risk for stress related everything. Yes, that includes mental health conditions like anxiety and depression. In addition to autoimmune diseases, hypertension, and fatal heart disease.
So, we need to ruthlessly prioritize self-care. Even though everything about our schedules makes it difficult. Because it’s not just about longevity, although that’s super important, there are ways to increase your quality of life.
Because Movement is Medicine
Regular movement has long been proven to boost mental, physical, and emotional health. Not to mention, health span and life span. It’s not a surprise that exercise is good and not exercising is, well, not so good for our health. But making space for it is complicated. So, don’t give up. Experiment until you find what works for you. Because it is part of the answer to feeling better, consistently.
Start Small-ish
So, how much time do you spend on movement now? If you want to increase it, just like with our professional goals, it helps to track it. As James Clear, Author of the best-selling book Atomic Habits states, “The things we measure are the things we improve. It is only through numbers and clear tracking that we have any idea if we are getting better or worse.” So, take a quick check in using our wellness app, log it on your phone or put it in a notebook, the method isn’t that important. You’re more likely to maintain a system that feels convenient and works for your lifestyle.
In our research study, self-care is still down considerably post-pandemic. So, if you? ‘re not spending time on it yet, that’s okay, you’re in excellent company. Whatever it is for you right now, give yourself a small goal to increase your movement time by an extra 15 minutes. You may be thinking, ‘wait, why only 15 minutes?’ but there are good reasons to start small.
Begin to Move More
Okay, after years of studying this, the self-care challenge for most Moms isn’t willpower. It’s access to predictable discretionary time. So, small, achievable goals are more motivational than big, unwieldly ones. For example, if you? ‘re adding 15 minutes from zero, it can possibly fit between meetings, feedings, after drop off or during soccer practice.
Take a walk around your building, home, playground, or block. Or schedule a 15-minute dance break with the kids during the meltdown hour before dinner. If you already workout regularly, add extra time to your routine of choice. And you can become intentional about workarounds by creating energetic space.
Then, Make Energetic Space
No, energetic space is not the 10:30 pm window when you’re beyond exhausted and tempted to doom scroll social media. Energy and time are both precious, fleeting resources. So, anything you choose to invest in – whether it’s more exercise or sleep – means you need to allocate not only time, but time when you’re most likely to have energy for the activity. And ideally, childcare coverage.
For example if you’re a morning person, like most parents because our kids make us, then starting to train for a marathon after the kids are asleep, might be problematic. Consider another way. For example, begin after drop-off. Or when your partner is home or align grandparent care during a nap window. But it doesn’t have to be family, swapping time with neighbors, or setting playdates with local friends, can provide enough time.
Which Involves Contingency Planning
This method of creating “energetic space” is so flexible it works, whether you have infants, toddlers, teens or adults to care for. Begin finding energetic space when you are likely to have more freedom. That might be when your kids are in daycare, with a nanny, during their sports activities or your lunch time. Just select a window when you have the most energy for the task.
Here’s How it Works
- Set a small goal (i.e. I want to begin walking for 15 minutes a day.)
- Allocate energetic space for it (i.e., I’ll plan to start walking after dropping off my kids at school.)
- Anticipate possible barriers – (i.e., My schedule is already super crowded, I sometimes get calls during that window, or need to rush directly into meetings, the weather is unpredictable this time of year, etc.)
- Create a backup plan B, C and possibly D- (i.e., I will block my calendar before 9:30 am on weekdays to make it less likely I’ll have a meeting that would interfere with my walk. But if that fails, I’ll set aside time when I typically have a break in the day for lunch. And if all else fails, I’ll plan right before dinner when my partner is home and can be on point with the kids. Or, if none of those things work, I’ll bring the kids for a 15-minute walk/stroll/bike ride before dinner.)
- Enlist support to manage barriers (i.e. consider everybody… your partner, manager, or friend. For example, I’ll ask my partner to keep the kids occupied during the time windows I’m allocating. Or I’ll tell my team and manager that I’m carving out wellness time in the mornings and not to schedule meetings over that space. If I have to wait until I’m at home, I’ll ask the neighbor if our kids can play together while I walk in the neighborhood.)
When You’re Ready, Ramp Up
So, back to health span. When you have a solid movement and energetic space schedule that works , there’s growing evidence about strategic habits that matter most to counter age-related decline. Dr. Peter Attia’s book, Outlive, is a masterclass on all things health span. And he shares in the book, that exercise is the number one tool, in the health span toolkit.
You can also find summaries about his system for increasing strength, stability and aerobic capacity, on his site. It focuses on elevating your heart rate with relatively low intensity (i.e. zone 2 level of cardio) most of the time. And a little bit of high intensity (i.e. zone 5) exercise. But like everything fitness, if you are ready to pursue new routines and levels of movement, consult with your doctor to make sure it’s safe and appropriate for your health.
But Don’t Forget Rest and Recovery
Part of why we see so much exhaustion, depression, and anxiety in our research, is that most of us are locked into always-on schedules without breaks. So, we tend to miss having recovery time and processes in our lives or movement routines. Over time, it becomes unsustainable.
So, give your body space for adequate muscle repair and recovery from movement. Restorative sleep, and its sidekick, rest are also required for good physical, mental and emotional health.
And Time with People Who Believe in Your Needs
Countless studies show how influential the people around you are to your health, wellbeing, and growth habits. For example, if you want to do more networking, start to spend time with people who are good at it and encourage you. If you want to improve your levels of physical activity, financial wellbeing, or sleep, connect with the people in your life who protect time for it. And provide you with support, ideas or compassionate accountability when you need it.
Unwittingly, many people expect their families or partners to become their health champions. But as much as they love you, they may not be able to play this role. So, if you’ve taken let’s say, a four plus year pause in caring for your health, now is the time to reengage with wellness.
What you choose, doesn’t matter, just prioritize it. Because if you abandon your health, it isn’t good for anybody. Certainly, not for you, your family or career.
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