“I do not want to be the default parent. Default organizer, planner, comforter, disciplined. I don’t want to be the only parent who seems engaged.”
“I want to stop doing all the emotional work of parenting (my spouse does only non-emotional tasks like grocery shopping and lawn mowing).”
“I do not want all of the child/home responsibilities falling on me. I do not want to be the one who has to give up my career which I loved.”
Over 2,700 parents have participated in our study since March of 2020. It’s mostly Moms (97%) who are managing their careers (86%) while navigating uneven childcare or school (75%) for their kids. Although many employers want to resume all the things, like travel and office time, life hasn’t improved much for Moms.
Despite a brief rally they continue to struggle with their roles as partners, workers and above all, caregivers to themselves. With 86% in our most recent survey wave doing ‘terribly’ or ‘not as well as usual’ at self-care. Why? Mothers still own household management and childcare in most families. And spend almost twice as many hours on it than Dads. And the uneven weight of that cognitive and physical labor, continues to limit Moms in the workplace.
The systems of work influence society. Yet many of today’s work norms were shaped early in the 20th century. When most Mothers in the US stayed at home. But modern employers have a lot of sway over the culture. Including what happens in our homes. When Dads are recognized as caregivers at work, not only does it improve their family bonds, it has the power to move gender equity forward.
Recognize Men as Caregivers That Need Flexibility
The organizations that demonstrate family-friendliness allow workers to manage their own time. Renegotiate expectations or deliverables. And establish thoughtful communication, for everything from meetings to approvals.
The Dads who can adjust their work schedules or travel expectations with ease, can do more at home. Which reduces the stress on their partners, with better coverage. And if partnered with Moms, there is more time for her self-care and career growth.
Offer Full Parental Leave, to Both Parents
Insufficient leave threatens financial and emotional stability for families. And in the US, where many parents don’t have paid leave, it means Mothers return to work when they’re not physically or emotionally ready. But employers can reduce this tension. By giving the same amount of leave to Fathers, co or adoptive parents.
Fathers have more time to bond and engage with their children from the start. And it reduces the astronomical cost of childcare and related stress on couples. Which improves health outcomes for the entire family.
Ease the Return to Work for Women
Pregnancy remains the third rail of female careers. Pre-pandemic, almost half (43%) of Mothers paused or exited the workforce for caregiving. Because many find being on point for all things household, while caring for a baby and career, unsustainable. But the return to work doesn’t have to be so fraught. Savvy organizations are investing in on ramping returners. And extending postpartum flexibility for caregivers who take parental leave.
Offer Childcare Benefits
The rising cost of care continues to push women out of the workforce. Because couples take cues from employers and society. So, they mistakenly treat care as the Mother’s sole responsibility. Then her salary is expected to ‘compensate’ for the full freight of these expenses. But in two-parent homes childcare is essential for both parents to fully participate in the workforce. So, help offset the costs.
And Support Throughout Childhood
Generous leave policies and pregnancy benefits are great. But parents need support well beyond the potty-training years. Especially now, when there’s a growing childcare crisis of availability and affordability. The Care.com cost of care report, indicates more than half (59%) of parents are concerned about the cost of childcare. And more than half (51%) spend 20% or more of their income on childcare, a stark contrast to the recommended 7%.
Train Male Managers to Behave More like Female Managers
Most employers don’t train managers on how to create psychological safety. Or flexibility at work. And according to Lean In’s women in the workplace report, female managers engage in this critical yet invisible work of building culture more often than their male peers. By providing emotional support (31 vs 19%.) Checking in on their employees’ overall wellbeing (61 vs 54%.) And helping them take action to prevent or manage burnout (21 vs 16%.)
Build Flexibility Into Expectations not Just Location
The rise of employee power means the era one-sided flexibility, where the employer gets to change the rules on a whim, is over. Conditions change all the time. Especially during a pandemic, rising inflation and a looming recession. Employees have needs too. So, give people room to adjust deadlines, reevaluate priorities and reduce workload. Especially when staffing, market conditions or illness, make it infeasible to do otherwise.
Give Ample Notice and Lead-Time for Schedule Changes
The Marshall Plan for Moms report cites how unpredictable schedules, devastate parents. Especially those who work in hourly-wage jobs. Because childcare coverage has to be set in advance. When employers suddenly change where, how or when people work, it hurts caregivers. So, make it easy for Mothers and Fathers to adjust the plan at home if needed.
Provide Ample Staffing to Cover Absent or Part-Time People
The reason most employees frantically check their work messages at all hours, is because most organizations expect it. Okay, require it without saying so. Because often they don’t have enough people to cover the work priorities they’ve signed up for. To create space for people to care for themselves through illness or take leaves, you need enough people. Or a more streamlined way of getting work done.
Parents crave meaningful change. The Dads we hear from want to be hands-on, engaged Fathers and partners. Yet, in our study only 30% of Mothers cite partners who increased their household or childcare time during the pandemic. This is in part, due to the gendered double-standard in the workplace. And challenges couples have operationalizing gender equity in the home. We’d love to see the inclusive future-of-work designed to support all caregivers, including Dads. And doing so, will improve career mobility for Moms.
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🎁Enjoy the gift of more time. Self-care packages for Moms, delivered to your door.
⏰ Ready to put yourself back onto your to-do list? Take a TimeCheck.
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Tags: diversity equity and inclusion, employee wellbeing, Gender Equity at work, Working Families, Workplace wellness
