Many of Us Don?t Take Breaks
Most Moms don?t find summers restful. It takes more mental energy and time, to stitch together coverage in the form of camps, grandparent care and vacation. Or navigate our children’s needs in unfamiliar settings. But summers are still special, not just for the kids, but your own inner-kid. And breaks are important for mental health. Especially now, while burnout, stress, and depression, reach record highs. Yet going on hiatus isn’t well supported in our culture. So, we often push ourselves and others, to just keep going.
Because Time Off Feels Unaffordable
Nearly half (46%) of US workers who have PTO, don?t take all of it. And it’s not as if we don?t value breaks but there are many reasons time off can feel risky. Including when you’re overwhelmed or it’s outside of the norm for your industry or role. In a recent Pew Research study; managers, workers with higher salaries, and people who worked in education, government or the military, were less likely to take time off.
And there were gender differences. Women, perhaps in part because we’re socialized to be pleasing and available, were more likely to feel “guilt” about the burden time away would cause their colleagues. Black employees worried more about job security, and there were many other factors that led people to believe the real price of that PTO, was too high.
But Time Off Helps Our Mental Health
We all know exhaustion doesn’t usually lead to creativity, but when you?re on point for childcare and household responsibilities, there’s very little discretionary time for recuperation. ?And by all measures in our research study, self-care for Moms continues to decline. But countless studies show vacations improve productivity and reduce stress. So, start thinking about vacation, or a mini-break, differently. As an investment in your wellbeing and growth.
Although travel is lovely, it tends to be less frequent. And even if you take all of your time off, a few weeks a year isn’t ‘enough’ to get in all of the relaxation you need. So, think about a vacation, whether it’s short, long, away or at home, as an opportunity to reset. And build self-care habits you can keep. Like making space for breaks throughout the day to pause your work, devices and demands.
So, Become Intentional About It
You can set up your summer season for more ease and less intensity if you start planning for it now. Although life isn?t slowing down anytime soon, you can interrupt the rhythm of your meetings, and commitments. Especially during the time of year when many people take breaks or wish they did. So, think about what you need. And the experiences that would feel meaningful to you this summer.
Pick Your Priorities
Do you want time alone to decompress? Or does the idea of a big, multi-generational trip excite you? Do you have teens ready for college tours? Or are you planning around naps, car seats and changing tables?
Are your kids at a stage where they?re only young enough to appreciate doing ?X? for a little while longer? Write down what matters to you. And pick 2 or 3 priorities that feel important to experience sometime between Memorial and Labor Days.
Block The Dates
Select a few times over the next few months, where you can have at least ?3- or 4- consecutive days away from paid-work. For example, if you don?t typically work weekends, close your calendar to meetings on a Friday and/or Monday. Perhaps allocating a whole week (or longer) is what you really need. Maybe you have an annual sojourn to see X relatives, Y bands or Z amusement parks. Whatever it is, block the time on your personal and professional calendars. Because blocking the time now does not commit you to using it and it gives you more options later.
Choose Your Budget
A vacation does not have to mean going away somewhere. Because travel can be expensive. And if your kids aren?t good travelers, sleepers or need a lot of assistance, it may not be relaxing to do so. If you?re also navigating unpaid time off, like if you own a business, the opportunity cost to pause paid work can feel like pricey-icing-on-top of any trip expenses. But figure out what you and if partnered, your family, can afford and enjoy.
Allocate or Delegate the Research
If you?re serious about making a summer plan, just ?playing it by ear? may not yield the results you want. Most of us default to busy so, the intentionality helps. Do you want to do a staycation and play tourist in your own city? Do you want to spend time with family or avoid it? Would not having meetings feel so good, that you don?t care where you are?
There are no wrong answers. Decide what feels right for you in this season. Some of us love the research, and others dread it. So, consider spouse-sourcing if you?re partnered. You can also outsource to an assistant, travel agent, or just copy a past itinerary from a travel-savvy friend.
Set Expectations (Ahem Boundaries) In Your Professional Life
If you have a psychologically safe workplace, then negotiate and plan for what you need. Let your colleagues, managers, and clients know that you?ll be taking some time off during the summer. If you are responsible for ongoing work streams (i.e. a monthly report, podcast, budget, etc.) line up coverage or negotiate a pause while you?re out. If you manage time-sensitive projects, get aligned with your coworkers on what meets the interruptible criteria. And let people know to text or call you only if there?s a problem. Then you?re not sifting through emails poolside each day looking for what?s important.
Think About Childcare
Do you need childcare for your plan to match your vision? I.e. going for a date night, solo trip, or staycation with a couple of great dinners. If so, determine whether you can extend or use your regular childcare, if you have it. Ask or swap with trusted neighbors, friends, or family depending on where you need it. If you (or if partnered, your partner) have access to back-up childcare benefits, it?s usually deeply subsidized and might be an option.
If you have eldercare responsibilities, make sure whoever has ?eyes? on your parents or other adult loved ones, know how to reach you when you?re traveling or less available. You may be thinking, this is a lot of pre-work for my ?break? and I get it. But taking these steps will give you less to worry about, and more opportunities to fully unwind when you do pause.
Remember, you can always block time off and savor it at home. There?s no pressure to add more to your calendar. So, go on, plan to get your summer break on!
""
"Moms, become more protective of your time. Learn about our member subscriptions.
? Ready to put yourself back onto your to-do list? Take a TimeCheck.
""?Shared your story yet? Take our quick survey to change how workplaces support parents.
"Employers, tired of losing your best people? Become Allies@Work?
