“We should not think of our plans as chiseled-in-stone, concrete strategies that can never be revised. Quite the opposite, we’re living much longer it’s not even a surprise now when someone’s in their 90s or hundreds. It’s phenomenal and we need to tweak our plans over the course of our lives as we confront different things, and our perspectives change.” said Lisa McCurdy, Author, Estate Attorney and Entrepreneur.
Many of us make choices with the goal of generational impact. Especially in our financial lives and we often focus on career growth. But income alone is not enough to outwit economic storms. Like the recessions, inflation or political instability, we’ve faced. We’re forced to live in the financial now. But historically, women were excluded from financial decision making and infrastructure. So, we often neglect the important, yet daunting work of long-term wealth and contingency planning. It requires time, expertise and of course, there’s the stress of thinking about mortality.
Maybe you’ve had to initiate or participate in this process for your aging parents, but you don’t have to choose the same path. Start with a fresh outlook and consider the many benefits. Including choosing how you shape the trajectory for your children and future grandchildren.
Start With Your Values
Lisa is a champion for designing living and lasting legacies. Since that’s the real goal, don’t let the formal part of the process deter you from starting with conversations. “It’s all aspects of legacy planning not just the technical documents, which of course are key to put in place. But also the family dynamic, values, and principles. They aren’t necessarily spoken about and may seem ancillary, but they’re essential to any successful plan.”
Begin with your partner, if you have one. Consider your siblings and in age-appropriate ways, as Lisa shared in part one from our interview, your children.
Surface Any Points of Friction
Long-term planning may involve a lot of people, not only your own kids or partner if you have one. You might be in this process with your family of origin. And as many of us know, family friction can be tricky to unwind so, I asked Lisa, how can families get back on track when they’re stuck?
She said, “When there are unspoken issues everyone in the room is aware of, but no one knows how to address, there can be a false perspective they’ll just work themselves out. And unfortunately, they don’t. It’s best to address the circumstances and depending on your family, you might need a facilitator to help you through that.”
Consider a Facilitator
Complicated family dynamics can damage more than your mental health and emotional equilibrium. It’s also a barrier to alignment for long-term planning. Lisa said, “A neutral individual can help you through some of those conversations. Even if you’re not using a third party to facilitate the discussion, determine certain parameters before the meeting occurs. And hold everyone to those standards, including yourself. If you can’t, consider pausing the discussion to continue on another day or with support.”
Mend Family Fractures
Lisa explained, when families feel disconnected from within, typically there’s some type of loss that causes the rift. “For example, when families share land and there are individuals who are estranged, a developer can reach out and encourage a position that impacts the value of the rest of the family’s land. If the family had been able to come together around a common vision, to utilize the collective strength of that asset, it could have implications for generations to come. In terms of foundational wealth and security so, those fractured relationships are important to address. Because they don’t solve themselves.”
Curate your Financial Team
It’s probably not a surprise, just like a complex project in your professional life, the right team, context and structure is key to success. Lisa said, “Information gathering is the foundation of successful planning. Whether it’s estate planning for the legal aspects of things or putting strategies in place from the wealth management or tax planning side through your CPA.”
She added, “If you have a business, succession planning really highlights the importance of collaboration. So, your estate attorney might be the quarterback. But your CPA, financial advisor, insurance professionals, or valuation specialist, should all be collaborating for the best and most comprehensive plan.”
Encourage Cross Communication
All of the experts you select to manage your financial wellbeing, need to talk to each other and there are ways to ensure it happens. Lisa added, “each specialist manages different aspects of the information gathering. And those perspectives, when analyzing the data are important. Clients also tend to tell their attorney something slightly different, than their financial advisor or insurance professional. And we all need to know the same type of information to provide the best recommendations.”
Assign Roles on Strengths versus Relationship
Lisa said, “Sometimes a parent believes it’s fair, or ‘kind to have all three of their children share fiduciary responsibilities and make decisions together. But when they’ve never been able to come together and make one decision, without difficulty, it’s not a good plan.”
Again, a lot like assigning projects in our careers, look for the skills or personality that sets someone up for success. “If the fiduciary, relative or friend you choose to navigate financial decisions if you become incapacitated, calls you for a loan once a month, that’s not the prudent choice. What many don’t realize, is that it’s actually more of a burden than a gift, if they struggle with certain types of decisions to be given that responsibility. Even though you think you’re honoring them.”
Keep Your Plan Updated
Women are projected to inherit over $100 Trillion in generational wealth by the year 2048. There are new funds, resources to think about investing, investment clubs and places for women to have a significant role in wealth building and culture shaping. This can be true for your own family’s plan too.
Lisa said, “with so many nonprofit organizations suffering now, there are a lot of individuals who have seen their children and grandchildren thrive so, now they’re focusing on those causes that impact history. Or making sure certain artifacts are preserved or stories maintained and that might look like a different type of giving. It can become involvement in those organizations.”
She added that it’s not only shifts in where you’d like your money, time or attention to go. Your plan may also need to reflect changes in relationships. “There may be a fiduciary, cousin, friend or even a professional relationship that no longer serves you. So, be intentional about revising your documents to reflect the current circumstances.”
Many thanks to the talented Lisa McCurdy Esq.!
Document your needs with Lisa’s Legacy on Purpose planning journal, and learn about her businesses The Wealth Counselor and Defining Legacy Group. Follow her great adventure on LinkedIn and Instagram.
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About Lisa:
During Rotary Year 2018-2019, Ms. McCurdy served as the first African-American and fifth female President of the Rotary Club of Washington, D.C. She also serves in various leadership roles within several other philanthropic and community organizations.
Ms. McCurdy is a graduate of the Georgetown University Law Center and the University of the District of Columbia. While at Georgetown University Law Center (GULC), she was published and edited articles submitted by law professors and practicing tax counsel in her position as Lead Articles Editor of The Tax Lawyer, a collaboration between GULC and the American Bar Association.
She lives in Washington, D.C. with her husband, Raymond. and Heracles the Wonderdog. Their son, Robert, lives in New York City.





