The Details of How to Make Personal Change Stick

A Book Review For Pathways to Possibility by Rosamund Stone Zander

I read and listen to books about everything from bravery and acceptance to productivity and leadership. I’ve been in the slow but intentional process of self-renewal for years. Recently, I discovered Pathways to Possibility by Rosamund Stone Zander. It’s the companion to one of my favorite books, The Art of Possibility that she co-authored with her husband, Benjamin Zander.

The best of cognitive science teaches that our thoughts affect our feelings. And ultimately, our happiness. Self-help can be heavy on the ‘why’ but light on the ‘how.’ It’s rare to find details about internalizing big ideas. Adopting new routines is not the same as resetting one’s internal Continue reading “The Details of How to Make Personal Change Stick”

It’s All in the Ask. How to Get the Professional Support You Need Right Now

“The truth is, if you can’t pitch, you will not get the support you need,” said Debi Kleiman, seasoned marketer, educator and entrepreneur, who now leads the Blank Center for Entrepreneurship at Babson College. Most people don’t know how to ask for what they want. Yet, connection to that job, mentor, advisor or investor, comes down to how you ask. And many of us hate asking for support! Even when there’s a mutual value exchange.

As millions reinvent in this pandemic, support for your work or business, will mean building relationships in new ways. Debi, my former colleague and friend, distills the fine art of professional persuasion in her new book, First Pitch! Winning Money, Mentors and More for your Start-Up. When she began teaching, she couldn’t find resources on this topic for her students. She said, “It made me sad that to think there were people who were not being heard in the world because Continue reading “It’s All in the Ask. How to Get the Professional Support You Need Right Now”

Can Self-Care Be Your Secret to Professional Success?

How do you transition from intrapreneur to entrepreneur, with your boss’ blessing, then sell and expand your company? With a disciplined approach to self-care and smart systems at home. Kendra Bracken-Ferguson, entrepreneur and Supermom, has built an extraordinary career while nurturing her creative soul.

Ambitious Moms face a dilemma. The rules for growth at work change just when requirements at home increase. Solutions to outsmart the wage and achievement gaps elude most women. Why? Work infrastructure doesn’t really favor working Moms. To succeed, despite this, requires mental energy and creativity. Resources most Moms lack. What if self-care, dismissed by most to save time, is the Continue reading “Can Self-Care Be Your Secret to Professional Success?”

Learn How to Keep Your Creative Edge From a Professional Artist

“I feel like I’m in such a hurry I don’t fully soak up the process,” lamented Soyoung L Kim, artist and writer, describing the preparation for her first solo art exhibit. Over lunch, we discussed all-things-creativity, including her professional journey, self-care and generating fresh ideas.

What if you’re not an artist? Finding creative solutions accelerates most careers. Creative thought, however, loves mental space. Lots of it. Inevitably, when you need it most, your inner-well-of-creativity, will appear to be dry. Frustratingly dry.

How can you rekindle and maintain that incredible energy? The answer might be having more than one creative love. Learn how a professional artist, faces the common challenges of getting unstuck and tapping her inner-genius, while juggling Continue reading “Learn How to Keep Your Creative Edge From a Professional Artist”

If Setting Better Boundaries Can Improve Your Life, Why Don’t You?

“I think part of the problem is that I hardly have any boundaries. I’ve given up eating, sleeping, showering on a regular basis just to maintain work and family. Forget self-care, tv, movies, reading or seeing friends. No time!”

“I’m not sure what to say about this… I don’t know that I have rules for myself at home, other than the ‘alone time’ trigger, which is less a rule than an escape clause…”

What rules do you set to protect your time? What routines help you keep commitments, to yourself, and others? In an anonymous survey, nearly 200 Moms shared their experiences setting, modifying (and yes, ignoring) their personal boundaries. We spend so much energy navigating external boundaries, the barriers between what we have and want, that we forget to erect our own. Protective ones.

Strong personal boundaries are the answer to over-do and never-done. The tenuous states of anxiety most Moms call home. We fritter from must-do to have-to and rarely make space to think. Practicing regular self-care, or just relaxing, begins to feel impossible. It’s scary when the life we wanted doesn’t leave room for what we need. We do it for our children, partners and communities. We do it because it’s  Continue reading “If Setting Better Boundaries Can Improve Your Life, Why Don’t You?”

What If You Could Pre-Empt This Year’s Holiday Stress? Two Things You Can Do Today!

Pre-Empt This Year’s Holiday Stress

Yes. You heard me. Holiday stress. It’s the polar opposite of the joy we hope for. The holiday bliss every greeting card claims we are due. There are magic moments. We savor them, but briefly, in between the hard work of ‘magic making.’ Sometimes, the holidays are just stressful. An overscheduled, overwrought time when forced fun competes with our massive to-do list. The strain is enough to threaten every shred of patience we have.

If you sought the escape hatch, at least once in the past few months, I’d like to share a simple way to make the holidays work better next time.  Not perfect…but better. I tried this last year and it radically improved Continue reading “What If You Could Pre-Empt This Year’s Holiday Stress? Two Things You Can Do Today!”

What Will You Say Yes To?

Book Review For The Year of Yes: How to Dance it Out, Stand in The Sun & be Your Own Person by Shonda Rhimes

I loved this book. It’s a survival guide for ambitious women. It’s also a masterclass on how to overcome limiting beliefs. Shonda makes sharp observations about everything from working motherhood and nurturing creativity, to career growth and feminism’s next act, intersectionality. She applies the Shonda-Rhimes-story-telling-magic to her own life. Even though she highlights (and challenges) many of the social norms that limit women’s progress, it’s a fast, engaging read.

Learning to Say Yes

“’You Never Say Yes to Anything.” The truth of her sister’s casual comment unsettled her. In response, Shonda decided to say ‘yes’ to what scared her… for an entire year! The book takes us, from her struggle to honor this commitment, to the resulting personal Continue reading “What Will You Say Yes To?”

Own Your Story, Love Your Strength & Heal With Hope

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of meeting Jeannette Walls, Author of the NY Times Best Seller, The Glass Castle. Her stirring memoir, detailing a childhood of poverty and trauma that would unravel most people, is among my all-time-favorite books. Once she was introduced, she said, “I was invited to speak because I had a weird childhood.”

We all laughed…until she shared some of her stories, including being severely burned at age 3 because to eat, she had to cook meals in a small trailer on a gas stove. After six weeks in the hospital, her father decided to “rescue her.” Hastily…prior to a medical discharge. She affectionately referred to his art of the quick-exit as the ‘skedaddle.’

Her presentation was about hope, strength and beauty. She beamed with enthusiasm sharing the many gifts she received from her experiences. Yes… Continue reading “Own Your Story, Love Your Strength & Heal With Hope”

Working Moms, How to Side Hustle Your Way to Career Bliss!

…Do you know why it looks that way? Is it supposed to get that big? Why does it hurt when I…?

“Anyone with a question about women’s health would usually contact me.” Said Dr. Kelly Culwell, founder of Dr. Lady Doctor. I nodded… at least ten women were waiting to meet her while we talked. She said, “This type of information should be available to everyone!” Agreed. Somewhere between Sex Ed in junior high and our pregnancy check-ups, we self-study with Dr. Google, Dr. Oz and Cosmo. It’s far from ideal. Kelly is intent on improving how women learn about reproductive and sexual health. That’s right, everything from fibroids and better birth control, to perimenopause!  

Although ‘pursue your passion’ is the prescribed path to professional bliss, few do. Or believe they can. Once work-life transforms to working-mom-life, it all changes. Finding time to build new competencies can feel insurmountable. Mom-friends barely have time to workout, eat right or brush their hair! Career growth, amidst overwhelm, seems like an impossible luxury.

There’s room for side hustles, passion projects and ambitious ventures. If Continue reading “Working Moms, How to Side Hustle Your Way to Career Bliss!”

It’s Time to Become an Activist. Here’s How

Six Observations About Activism from Female Leaders at the Creators Summit

Decisions that govern choices we make, wages we earn, the quality of air we breathe and the safety of foods we eat, are made by a homogenous few. Let’s take that in for a moment. A tiny group, relative to the population, absent your world view, culture and life experiences are running the show.

Where does that leave us? Somewhere in the audience…perhaps. Certainly not backstage or privy to what’s behind the scenes. We’re definitely not running things, less than a quarter of elected officials are women, but we can.

When politics are the most detestable, is when your involvement is the most important. We all thought that progress was well…progressive. Upward and forward moving. Guess what? It’s not. What people fought for 100 years ago we need to fight and fight again for.

One month ago, I listened to powerful stories of courage at the BlogHer Creator’s Summit with lessons about activism we can all benefit from. Dr. Alaa Murabit, a UN commissioner active in high risk peace negotiations said, “If women are involved, peace is 35 times more likely to last. Peace building and nation building are less successful If we don’t have women at the table.” Do you need more permission to get involved?

Support positive, systemic change for everything that matters to you! Leaders are calling upon women to work together — like the passionate team of master planners, doers and bridge builders we are.

Be inclusive, foster the belonging we all crave

“When people sit along the edges and we exclude them, we miss their magic. I know what the joy of being included feels like.” Shelly McNamara, Writer & VP of HR at Procter & Gamble

“…I was careful about how I expressed myself. I never wanted to be labeled ‘the angry black girl.’ I didn’t want to be written off.” Angie Thomas, #1 NY Times Best Selling Author

“It is important that the images put out in the world reflect all people. I think there is a responsibility that every single group should be represented.” Uzo Aduba, Actress & Advocate

“…I believe in less distance and more connection, less judgement and Continue reading “It’s Time to Become an Activist. Here’s How”

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