Traditional work has always been tricky for mothers. We earn less than our male peers, are underrepresented in leadership and lose an extra 4 – 13% in compensation after having kids. So, whether you want to maintain your current role, upgrade, return from a pause, start or grow a business, the current climate adds ‘Wild West’ energy to career management.
Navigating professional life in a down economy can feel like trying to outrun the ocean. A new manager, strategy, or client can extinguish momentum you felt only weeks before. And the warm bond with people you respect can quickly become the Spanish Inquisition in competitive workplaces. The reality is economic downturns change the lens managers, leaders, customers or clients use to evaluate your performance.
You rarely get the new rules in advance and a lot of the career advice we see for mothers, although well intentioned, can be so generic it’s not helpful. Granularity is a gift and I’ve been fortunate to interview hundreds of mom experts about their journeys. Here are a few gems to strengthen your career stance, whatever goals you have in this professional season.
Don’t Assume, Ask Others About Their Intentions
“…Most of us are not taught to communicate clearly… and there are no magical mind readers among us but the ability to communicate well can be taught. …We need to make it okay to ask, ‘what did you mean by that?’ And talk about what we want to accomplish, instead of relying on what’s implied or subtle in the workplace. Because not everyone knows what that is…” Dr. Tessa West, PhD, Professor of Psychology, New York University
Opportunities to Feel Less Adrift And More Connected in Daily Life
Calculate the “ROI” on your Role Before Choosing to Leave
“Before choosing to exit, ask yourself, ‘how am I going to make this work?’ and ‘what is the time span to get the return on investment I need from this job or career move?’ and ‘is this job going to be advantageous to my career?’ Sometimes you’re in a job and it’s not fun but long term; it’s going to be advantageous. So, think about the long game as Dorie Clark says because the big picture is important.” Dr. Lynn Wooten, Author, Educator and University President
Develop your Holistic Strategy to Overcome Obstacles to Workplace Power
Share the Workload at Home for Time to Advance Professional Goals
“…My partner has his regular job but I’m in the middle of a book launch I’ve been planning for two years. It’s not easy for most couples. But if you’re intentional with the roles at home, it can have a profound ripple effect through your life. …I don’t immediately volunteer to do stuff anymore when I know my partner can handle it. I’ve really tried to kill the guilt as much as I can.” Reshma Saujani, Author, Advocate and Nonprofit Leader
Conquer the Fog with Better Self-Care and Firmer Boundaries
Ask for What You Need in the Workplace
“…I have never fired anybody for asking for things they believe they need. On the contrary, I’m constantly reminding women ask for more. Because if you ask, you might get it.” Daisy Auger Dominguez, Author, Human Resources Executive and Workplace Inclusion and Equity Leader.
Care for Yourself, Find Your Voice And Preserve Your Energy at Work
Learn to Spend Time on What Feels Most Aligned
“…Look at the past three months (on your calendar) and note when there were times you had to make a choice that didn’t feel good. And then, think about what you can do, to put in place safeguards, so that it doesn’t happen in the next quarter. Maybe you can and maybe you can’t. But at least it’s acknowledging and articulating, for yourself, that you can’t right now. There are always costs, there’s no solution that is, win-win all around.” Dr. Pooja Lakshmin, Clinical Psychiatrist, Professor, Author, and Entrepreneur
Protect Your Peace of Mind While you Build Your High Impact Life
Segment and Prioritize Outreach Within Your Professional Network
“The three tiers that I outline in my book are: your inner circle contacts, high value contacts and moderate value contacts. And I define those and so you can sort them according to the degree of trust and a number of other dimensions. You can look at your relationships through this prism and develop strategies for each of them. So, that you are being laser like in how you are valuing and managing your time.” Juliette Mayers, Author, Podcast Host and Diversity, Equity and Inclusion Strategist
Do Your Professional Dreams Feel Farther Away? It’s Time to Get Strategic With Your Network
Confront Sticky Colleague Situations Proactively
“…I push through the fear of confrontation by just calling it out. And it’s a developed skill. Recently, in a meeting I thought I had sufficient context on a particular issue to offer my perspective. And someone immediately countered it but in a very loud way. I’ll use the word loud because I want to talk in fact and not in judgment. So, afterwards I was like, are you angry at me? From your tone, it felt like you believed I did something wrong.” Nikkia Reveillac, Entrepreneur and Podcast Host
Here’s How to Make Better Connections and Diffuse Tension at Work
Document Your Work Each Quarter for Your Manager or Leaders
“If we don’t remember our own work after two months, how in God’s name is someone else going to? So, put in a little more time, to get that better reward. Set a reminder for yourself every to three weeks, ‘hey, is there something you’re working on that you’re proud of?’ …You can write one word just to remind yourself. Every quarter, send that list of accomplishments to your manager. For example, ‘Hi, this is the work I’ve been doing over the past quarter. I wanted to make sure you have it for your files’ that’s it.” Alli Young, Sales Leader, Entrepreneur and Career Growth Expert
How to Become the Architect of Your Own Career Growth
Ask Stakeholders in Your Life What They Really Expect from You
“…If you’re not in immediate pain, have a conversation with your circle of three or four people who love you and are invested in your happiness like close friends, a parent, a spouse, or even kids. Say, ‘I feel a sense of overwhelm. I want to be a good (mom, friend, wife, daughter) and I feel I’m not because I have all of these responsibilities. Please write down (or tell me) the list of things you need me to do to be a good Mom (or friend or wife).'” Tiffany Dufu, Author, Board Member, Foundation President
Rewrite The Rules! Lighten Your Mental Load, Drop Mom Guilt and Live Your Values
If You’re Selling into Businesses, Find the Right Decision Maker
“I don’t give up on a particular organization, but I will give up on that person within the organization. I may circle back 12 months later and give them an update but I’m kind of over the idea of groveling. …I just signed a contract with a big national distributor, and I don’t even know how many people I’ve had to meet within that organization!” Allison Watkins, Inventor, Entrepreneur and Women’s Health Advocate
Entrepreneurs, it’s Time to Stay Focused and Sell Your Way to Financial Security
Develop Stronger Bonds by Amplifying Colleagues
“…If someone said something that was ignored, speak up. For example, ‘Leslie can you say that again?’ to make sure Leslie has been heard and acknowledged. When what’s said is dismissed or not acknowledged, it diminishes people. You can amplify someone in the workplace regardless of your role and frankly, without much risk.” Su Joun, Author, Entrepreneur, Diversity and Inclusion Expert
How to Make People Feel Seen, Heard and Respected at Work
Lead More Engaging Meetings
“In a lot of meetings it might not be until 30 or 40 minutes in that people have a chance to ask questions but most people are already checked out by then. …Studies show that if you give people a chance to bring their voices into the space within the first 5 or 10 minutes of a meeting, they’re more likely to be engaged through the whole hour. So, start with a question that’s not directly at the heart of what your meeting is about as a warmup.” Jyoti Jani, Author, Facilitator and Organizational Behavior Expert
How to Use Play as a Leader to Create More Fulfillment at Work
As with everything else, there’s no “one size fits all path” to life, leadership, parenting or motherhood but you can steer towards the destination you deserve. Greater peace, prosperity, health and comfort are possible. Find the career strategy that honors your ambitions, needs and interests, while providing flexibility and space for parenting and caregiving.
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📚 Buy the new book, Repair with Self-Care: Your Guide to the Mom’s Hierarchy of Needs.
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