How to Stay Hopeful About Goals When Cold Season Undermines Your Childcare

Did you start the year fired up about aggressive goals, only to feel sabotaged within a few weeks? Between the colds, flu and other viruses, illness is rippling through families and wreaking havoc on our plans. And if you?re fortunate to have a caregiver, come to your home ? whether it?s your nanny, neighbor, or Mother-in-law — there is no ‘fail proof’ childcare. She may have to care for her own sick children. Or nurse herself back to health sometime this season.

And when you?re caught in this loop of responding to what?s pressing now, in ways that compete with your future desires, it?s draining. Because whatever space you allocated to your goals gets pushed aside.

So, if this is ?your year? to run the marathon, get promoted, write a book, or take more walks, it?s okay if you haven?t started yet. You can navigate the choppy reentry and find your path forward.

In the current wave of our research study, Moms overwhelmingly (87%) admit dialing back their ambitions after kids. Yet nearly a third (29%) want to increase their income or grow professionally this year. The reality is, even with the most careful planning we will face roadblocks, quicksand, or other hidden barriers to our big ideas and needs. So, what can you do about it?

Stumbles Are Usually Not Stop Signs

Okay, so you?re poised on the launchpad, and something happens before you can take off. It?s frustrating at best and demotivating at worst. But when you pull apart the situation, you can decide how to advance, with grace and self-compassion.

If your health falters, whether it?s a sudden illness, repeated colds, or something more serious, that may be a sign to pause. Your body generally will tell you when it?s had too much and needs more care. Whether it?s mental healthcare, movement, sleep, stress management or connection with others. Dialing up self-care and taking intentional breaks at the top of the Mom?s Hierarchy of Needs can help.

Especially When it’s Childcare Related

Whether your child or your nanny?s child is sick, doesn’t matter. We know there are many reasons childcare will fail, even when you are fortunate enough to have it. Daycares close, Grandmothers go on vacation, and teachers have professional development days. But if your childcare arrangements fall apart often, then you might want to revisit your set up. Or find an alternative that meets your needs.

In the US, childcare has always been a mess and it’s much worse post-pandemic. Although added support, in the form of increased tax credits is under consideration with lawmakers, childcare is not affordable or accessible for many families. If you are fortunate to have access to back-up care through your or your spouse’s employer, avail yourself of it.

Typically companies will subsidize access to vetted sitters, that you can book on short notice. And it’s helpful when daycare or school is closed or you?re traveling and need support with kids or an aging parent. But it’s typically only available in large organizations.

So, Dial Up Time for Self-Reflection

Wherever you are on the continuum towards your future self or financial state, it will be faster and easier if you give yourself time and permission to think. Do you still want the same outcomes? Is it in your best interest to approach them in the same way? There might be an alternative path that?s more flexible or less fraught. If so, you?ll only get there if you create room to consider your options.

So, put ?thinking time? as a placeholder somewhere on your calendar. Yes, I?m serious. Because if it?s on your calendar it?s more likely to happen. It can be when you take time for lunch, before your family wakes up or during your deep work windows. Protect space to generate ideas, even if it?s for 15 minutes. You can always adjust it. But having that calendar block will re-orient you towards taking time for your needs.

And Revisit the Fundamentals of Your Goals

Can your goal be pared back in scope? So, if you had planned to run a marathon this spring but find yourself nursing an injury, would a 5K be a better milestone? Or perhaps, choose a different marathon later in the year. If you wanted to hit your first seven figure quarter in your business, and your star salesperson leaves, do you reset financial targets? Or try to hire a replacement. All of those choices can be on the table. You are brilliant and just need decision making space. Before the intensity of housework, paid work, and mental load to manage it all erodes your time and self-confidence.

And the ?Due? Dates

The most underutilized strategy we have to manage burnout, and strain from the daily relay race through tasks, is to remove or move deadlines. But if that?s not possible, renegotiate the due dates. Okay, so you may be in deep conversation with yourself if it?s a health or career goal.

But you might need to renegotiate with your manager, colleagues, or board. So many things are dressed up in the language of urgency. But if you step back to reflect, many are optional. And faux urgency is particularly maddening because it drives so much stress to jump through unnecessary hurdles.

Think About How to Get Help at Work

If you don?t have the psychological safety to have that conversation with your manager or leadership team, reach out to other parents in your organization. They can offer their best practices and ideas. Or better still, if there?s an employee resource group for caregivers or parents find out what?s working well for others. Consider connecting with an industry group that has a parent contingent for a broader perspective.

If you manage a team, it could be a great time to elevate someone. Succession plan and get another multi-tasking-magician Mom promoted. Ask her to attend meetings on your behalf and debrief you. Or make the decisions so, you don’t feel like you need to be there for everything.

And Increase Support at Home

If you can outsource, spouse source, or eliminate something on your to-do list, please do. It?s not a secret that Moms partnered with Dads do more household work, childcare and the cognitive work to plan it in most families.

If you are partnered, reopen discussions about the workload at home, especially if you haven?t had that chat in a while. The workload to raise kids keeps changing and becoming more nuanced as they grow. Find systems that work for you as a couple and negotiate to offload something. Like drop off, pick up, making dinner, doctors? appointments, after school activities, the weekend sports commute, or homework help.

Remember, this season will pass. But there?s always something that will unexpectedly shift your priorities. It?s part of life. And if you look for ways to increase time spent on self-reflection, self-compassion and self-care, the disruptions will feel more manageable.

?Moms, protect time for your health and growth. Become a member.