“As startup entrepreneurs we often spend 24/7 doing whatever is necessary for the company. And as women, it’s the same in the household. But if I’m doing everything and I’m dead tired, at some point I’m going to die of a heart attack or something else. And that’s not going to serve anyone,” said Dr. Sophia Yen, Physician, professor in Adolescent Medicine and Maternal and Child Health Expert.
Traditional work hasn’t been particularly family or female friendly. And between mass layoffs and the decline in purchasing power, Mothers will continue to get creative with their careers. Whether it’s to increase flexibility, pay or diversify professional risk, entrepreneurship is on the rise. Women start businesses at record rates now, and it’s even higher among women of color.
But most juggle more than one professional identity. According to Marketwatch more than half of Americans have a second job or sideline. But what happens to your wellbeing when you stitch multiple career interests together? Career fulfillment and passion doesn’t protect us from burnout. And strain from calendar bingo, not to mention constant switching between multiple work and life commitments, can bring added stress.
As a physician, and entrepreneurial leader in women’s health, Sophia is acutely aware of the physical toll this can take. And openly shares how she incorporates self-care with a very full life and schedule.
Energy Management Is Vital
So, many of us experience burnout before we make changes. But regardless of your why, choosing to do things in ways that are more sustainable for your health is the first step. Sophia said, “You realize that it’s a marathon, not a sprint and if you burn out, it’s not good for anyone.”
If you’re at the epicenter of household operations, long-term planning can feel overwhelming. But women are at greater risk for stress-related everything, and the demands on our time continue to increase. So, it’s critical to disrupt the daily rhythm and manage health.
So, Prioritize Sleep
Sophia said, “I know if I’m sleep deprived, I am toxic and that doesn’t help anybody.” Many of us spend years in sleep deficit, because it’s synonymous with Motherhood and most careers, but it’s corrosive to our memory, mood, and long-term health. “When I was sleep deprived I was really cranky. Know that you’re going to do better at everything if you are well rested, well fed, and happy.”
Be Choosy When Work Collides with Family
When asked how she makes space for self-care Sophia said, “In terms of startup life, it’s about setting boundaries. And in terms of being the female in the household, it’s often about making society meet the needs of the family.”
Most of us are forced to consider professional opportunities that clash with drop offs, family meals, bonding or sleep. And it’s painful. But until organizations rewrite the work rules to accommodate care, you will have to weigh the opportunity cost of pushing back, opting out, or mobilizing added coverage each time.
If Partnered, Share the Workload
If you’re partnered, build systems that allow you to share the professional tradeoffs. Or if you continually have conflicts, consider a change to your work or childcare set up. Sophia said, “My husband’s an awesome husband and he wants to be there too, so having a meeting at 8 am serves no one. Kids go to school at 8 am, and somebody’s got to feed them and get them to school. So, if I have a meeting at 8 am then my husband needs to stay. So, let’s have meetings at noon when most of us are at work.” Sadly, despite everything we’ve learned in the past 4 years, family-friendly scheduling hasn’t caught on with most leaders or event planners.
Set Boundaries for Your Highest Priorities
But you can anchor what’s critical for your wellbeing into your schedule. Sophia said, “I treasure dinner time. Part of that is being in adolescent medicine and knowing that if you eat with your young person then you can talk about things and have an eye on them. So, we have dinner at 7 pm because my husband likes to work late, and he can get be home by then. So, we’ve decided nothing can be scheduled at that time unless it’s an absolute emergency. That’s our time to sit as a family, eat, and be present with each other.”
Expand Your Definition of Self-Care
Yes, it’s true that movement helps with health and stress management, but self-care isn’t just about exercise. A lot of Moms just want more control over their own time and options to decompress. Sophia said, “When I’m stressed out of my mind, I watch some silly TV, get a massage or I fit in exercise. And we have a mini trampoline that we’re supposed to run on. But you can just jump on it, which is also good for bone density, energy and managing stress.”
And Find the Little Ways to Move More
Sophia said, “I also use a yoga ball and suggest it to my patients. If you’re a fidgety kind of person and you’re on a Zoom meeting you can just bounce on the yoga ball, but you can also bounce on any chair. Because you’re doing exercise, which will release endorphins and be healthier for you.” It doesn’t have to be an elaborate workout to be effective. Find small ways to bring more movement into your schedule that are less stressful to fit in.
Check In with Yourself Often
Sophia said, “Self-care is checking in with yourself to see if you’re stressed out of your mind. It’s also setting boundaries and, the big thing is asking for help and splitting everything 50/50 with your partner.”
Most Moms partnered with Dads do at least twice as much housework and childcare. So, if you are partnered, now is the time to involve your partner more. If you already split the work, you’re single or your partner isn’t a viable option, consider neighbors, friends, grandparent care or adding paid childcare or household support for critical needs. Basically, if you can invest in infrastructure and support that improves your wellbeing time, it’s worth it.
And Lose The Guilt
Sophia said, “I was recently with a bunch of women, and they were feeling guilty because they were working and weren’t home with their kids. And I was like, ‘is your husband feeling guilty? No? So, why the hell are you feeling guilty?’ It’s 50% his kid! So, part of it is sharing the guilt and the other part is not to feel the guilt if he doesn’t.”
We all navigate the messiness of paid work and life integration imperfectly. So, stand behind your decisions, whatever choices or tradeoffs you make. And give yourself the room and self-compassion to evolve your plan over time.
Many thanks to the talented Dr. Sophia Yen, MD!
Learn more about her company Pandia Health on their website, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, YouTube and X. And follow her great adventure on TikTok and LinkedIn.
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About Sophia:
Dr. Yen is Board Certified in Adolescent Medicine with 20+ years of experience in medicine. She graduated from MIT, UCSF Medical School, and UC Berkeley with a MPH in Maternal Child Health. She serves as a Clinical Associate Professor at Stanford Medical School in the department of Pediatrics in the Division of Adolescent Medicine.
Beyond her medical work: Dr. Yen co-founded 3 non-profit organizations/projects in her endeavors to improve the lives of women: The Silver Ribbon Campaign to Trust Women, SheHeroes.org, and FFFL.co (Female Founded, Female Led) a B2C campaign to get consumers to choose Female Founded, and Female Led.
Dr. Yen co-founded Pandia Health because she believes no one should suffer from pill anxiety – the fear of running out of birth control and the stress of obtaining birth control each month. Her latest health campaign is to educate the public about #PeriodsOptional and women’s reproductive rights.
Dr. Yen enjoys educating the public and other physicians about birth control, #PeriodsOptional, acne, weight management, and other adolescent health issues. She has spoken at SXSW, TEDxBerkeley, Facebook, TEDx Silicon Valley Women, UC Merced, UC Davis, UC Riverside, Stanford University, local high schools, Boys and Girls Club of the Peninsula, given grand rounds and noon lectures at various academic institutions from Stanford Pediatrics and Internal Medicine to UCLA Internal Medicine.
She has been featured in many publications for her work in reproductive health and as CEO of Pandia Health.
