“A lot of us went through the great reset and realized we want something different. I was forced onto that path, like a lot of people, after losing my job at ABC out of the blue. First, I had to give myself permission to try something new. Because I had done one thing for so long and that’s where my confidence lay. So, I realized my worth wasn’t just in my job, nor is my calling singular to my vocation. I had to detach my career from my identity and step into that fear. Because I’m a firm believer that we’re called to do different things in different seasons,” said Paula Faris, Emmy-Award Winning Journalist, Author and Entrepreneur.

Raising children is beautiful. Yet, the difficulty combining it with paid work, catches many of us by surprise. When we become parents, levers we used to pull to manage stress, money, and time, completely change. And the clash, with our careers and calendars, can be disheartening.

Paula went from an established career, hosting iconic television (TV) shows like Good Morning America and The View, to entrepreneurship during pandemic pandemonium. But there’s more than one way to make your life work. And whether it’s forever, or a season, change can be the elixir to restore your energy, creativity, and confidence. Learn how deeper purpose became the fuel behind her reinvention.

Tell Yourself a New Identity Story

Paula explained, “I lost my job right at the beginning of the pandemic like a lot of other Moms and had to pivot. I wasn’t sure if I should follow this idea that’s been on my heart for a really long time. Which is to make sure that Motherhood is celebrated, valued, and validated. I had opportunities to stay in TV news, but I had a burning passion to go for this. I didn’t know what it would look like but felt I had to do something, then I founded Carry Media.”

There’s a lot of quiet effort involved with resetting. In her new book, You Don’t Have to Carry it All, she does a lot of myth busting combined with wisdom from her journey. Including how to create a life with more support and unload the dreaded Mom guilt. “I have given myself permission to pour everything that I have into beating the drum for working Moms. Detaching my identity from what I do has given me permission to try new things and see myself in a new capacity.”

Acknowledge the Fear

Humans don’t really love change. At least, our brains don’t. We’re wired to resist it. Paula has found peace with the work she’s doing, despite navigating unknown professional territory. “It is so scary! But I’m pressing into the fear. I’ve had to learn to follow that visceral ‘knowing’ that I’m supposed to do this. And keep doing the next right thing and not overthink it. It helps to know your why.” Parents in the US workforce are among the least happy globally. And Mothers continue to face the intersection of gender and parental bias.

And Follow Your ‘Why’

Paula explained, “In network news, when I co-hosted The View, I found that being a working Mother didn’t work. We’re paid less and scrutinized more. We’re passed over for promotions, despite being paid seventy cents on the dollar, versus men. And those numbers are even more egregious for Mothers of color.” In the US, we’re squeezed between fragile childcare infrastructure, lack of public policy support, and a work-at-all-costs culture. She said, “On top of this, add the burnout Mothers are feeling which is at historic highs. As journalists we’re supposed to suss out inequities. And Mothers are one of the most marginalized groups here in America.”

Own Your Brilliance

Paula said, “There’s no reason why Motherhood should be penalized! As I wrote about in the book, we have become superhuman and equipped with capabilities we didn’t have before we became parents. Whether the baby grew in our heart or our tummy.” In the book she dives deep into why we need to own our highly transferable gifts. Like increased emotional IQ, courage and efficiency, and step into our full professional power. Even though it’s counter to messages we receive in many workplaces.

Align Your Time With Where You Find Meaning

Paula worked at the intense pace of TV news. But she admits the transition to entrepreneurship – especially while Mothering – is no joke. “Let’s just put it out there, I didn’t know that being an entrepreneur meant I would never sleep again. We’re always worried about something. But knowing my ‘why’ on a personal level, has created the boundaries I need. I know I’m doing this for a better future for my daughter, my two sons, and for their families.”

She carves space for family connection. “And it’s knowing that I want to be more present with my kids. I want to go to my daughter’s track meet tonight, pick my son up from basketball practice and go to my youngest’s baseball tournament. I can’t be at everything, but it’s a big part of my why. And that means I’m going to make certain decisions and sacrifices.”

Assess the Potential Impact to Your Financial Health

Start-up ventures, of any kind, often mean investing your energy before receiving a financial return. Paula said, “I don’t really make any money as an entrepreneur yet but that’s okay. Thank God I am in a very privileged situation and we’re not relying on my income anymore. I used to be the primary breadwinner and that’s one of the reasons we moved to a small town of 2,300 people in South Carolina. It’s much cheaper to live here.”

Although women own almost half of businesses, they generate just overt 4% of the total revenues. There are many reasons for this, including gendered access to capital and discretionary time. Entrepreneurship is exhilarating. But the possible tradeoffs to financial and emotional stability, aren’t for everyone. As Paula wisely points out, you can revisit everything about your environment, including where you live to create new options.

Find the Community and Support Systems you Need

Paula’s mantra throughout the book is that we “don’t have to carry it all” and need to avoid the myth of independence many of us are socialized into. Whether it’s for childcare, eldercare, industry expertise, or local knowledge, your community of support awaits. She loves her new environment. “The people are awesome and the weather here is amazing! We have family nearby and a community we love that helps out. I’m not really contributing financially but I’m still contributing a lot of different ways. And I’m super passionate about where I am.”

There’s so much joy and purpose in our families. But please remember, we’re not wired as humans to do everything in isolation. Nor is it sustainable. Let’s unwind the ‘have it all’ programming that undermines our mental and physical health. Find your circles of support, including your partner, if you’re coupled. And if possible, consider outsourcing, aligning with friends, family and neighbors, to assist you. As you craft your perfect version of work/life.

Many thanks to the talented Paula Fairs!

Check out her amazing new book, You Don’t Have to Carry It All: Ditch the Mom Guilt and Find a Better Way Forward. And follow Paula’s great adventure on her website, Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube.

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About Paula:

Paula Faris is an Emmy-Award winning journalist, podcaster and best-selling author who, in 2022, founded CARRY Media, to champion working moms through content and storytelling.

Faris spent almost a decade at ABC News where she was the co-anchor of Good Morning America weekend edition and co-host of The View. While at the network she reported on everything from politics, news and entertainment to sports and faith, interviewing the likes of Reese Witherspoon, Tiger Woods, now-president Joe Biden and Kellyanne Conway.

As the founder of CARRY, Faris runs her company from South Carolina while enjoying the small-town life with her husband John and their three children.